Hey Jeep owners: We get it, we just don’t care.

Of all the drivers out there, none have exhibited unmerited smugness quite like Jeep owners. This smugness is distilled and used to print up Jeep decals telling the rest of us that we “wouldn’t understand”.

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Jeep owners, we actually do understand. Your boxy car with a tarp top was marketed with a carefully-cultivated sense of adventure, and you bought one because you want people to think you’re macho. The rest of us could have made the same purchase with as much money, but we thought better of it and decided not to.

Because they’re in such a hurry to get the rest of us to take them seriously, Jeep owners are now getting their headlights modified with “angry eyes”:

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This is when you realize that Jeep ownership is all about image. The carefully-marketed sense of adventure? Image. The numerous modifications with purely aesthetic value? Image. The many, many decals proclaiming the identity found in purchasing something mass-produced? Image, image, image.

These pubescent attempts to impress us are characteristic of a failure to develop beyond the Hot Wheels phase of automotive preference, and is further expressed with the idea that being a good driver means driving real fast and weaving through traffic (while the rest of us are wishing that the accident that takes the doofus off the road doesn’t take our own cars along with them). Little do they realize that if they wanted a car that’s effective at the whole “going fast” dealie, they’d want one with the proper specs to do so, such as aerodynamics.

Jeeps are the automotive equivalent of the guy who desperately wants to impress us, so he wears compression shirts, talks about guns at every chance, sprays himself with Axe, then wonders why the rest of us thinks he’s a poser.

Do you have a “Jeep thing” going on? Guess what? Nobody cares.

1 thought on “Hey Jeep owners: We get it, we just don’t care.

  1. Pingback: Socialists don’t actually care about human lives. | Magnetricity

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