This morning, I opened up X, saw a story about Jewish tunnels in New York City, and thought, “Oh boy, now what is it?”.
Apparently, a tunnel was discovered connecting a Synagogue in NYC to a grate across the street. Since its discovery, the city proceeded to attempt to fill the tunnel up, sparking a riot among the Chabad Jews who carved the tunnel, apparently because they really liked their tunnel.
There’s a bit of misinformation going around about how the tunnel might have been built so that Jews could access their Synagogue during the Covid lockdowns, but if we’re being honest, it’s still not completely clear what purpose the tunnel served. As one might expect, the intellectual dead-ends who blame the Jews for every last problem that they have were quick to assume the worst, because of course they would.
I’ll be honest and say that I’m no expert when it comes to Judaism, but from what little I know, among the Jews, the Chabads are considered to be something of an outlier, similar to how the Mormons are viewed by the rest of Christianity. I really don’t know what kind of religious justification there could be for a tunnel going from a synagogue.
But whatever the reason may be, a bunch of people in black suits and funny hats flew into a rage at the prospect of the city of New York filling the tunnel back up.
If you wanna see, and I don’t blame you, I managed to find someone on social media that hosted a video that had an impartial tone:
Also, I’ll share this because I found the picture cute. Mozel tov mouseys!
There’s also some disinformation about this story going around. Which is to be expected, because there is potential to defame the Jews, and there’s an excess of sub-room-temp-IQ wignats who defied the rules of natural selection to survive to the point that wireless internet can be set up for them, with the rest of us probably paying for it in some way. Dispelling disinformation is not my job, and if it was, it’d be a full time job, and probably wouldn’t pay enough considering the muck one would have to sift through. Among these is the claim that the tunnel led to an elementary school across the street, and was used to expedite a child-trafficking ring.
So, I entered “Chabad Lubavitch World Headquarters” on Google Maps to check to see whether an elementary school was, in fact, across the street from the Synagogue. This is what I found:
All one really had to do was check Google Maps and see for themselves that there’s no elementary school across the street from the Synagogue in question. If you fell for the lie, then the world must be a scary and confusing place for you. Which it is for the rest of us, but perhaps much more so for you.
As for what the tunnel was really about, I suppose we’ll find out from much brighter people in the days ahead. But considering the sheer number of Jewish facilities in the area, I suspect that they wanted an access tunnel, and went ahead and carved one out without the city’s permission. Which is irresponsible, considering the danger of sinkholes and the possibility of a tunnel collapse. I know that crossing the street can be quite an inconvenience in a place like New York City, but carving a tunnel is quite the investment of time, itself.
If you can think of a conspiracy theory involving Jewish tunnels that actually sounds intelligent, please share in the comments. I’m still yet to hear one.
Magnetricity 