This is some deeply unsettling news. I want to hear Anthony Fauci assure us that this isn’t gain-of-function research, that’s the only thing that’ll assure one with a state-recommended level of media literacy.

A team of researchers in China are at it again. Except the coronavirus that they’ve developed this time now has a 100% fatality rate in humanized mice. But hey, at least it’s not the Wuhan guys, this time.

Let me tell you, it’s a great thing that humanity has collectively learned the obvious lesson that there was to learn from the last few years. That is to say, that there are some things that you just don’t mess with.

And now, it’s on to enlightenment, from here. How? By developing another mutant strain of viruses that destroys the brains of mice in Chinese labs, that’s how. And if the unthinkable happens and the virus somehow passes on to humans, then at least there will be a lesson to be learned for the hypothetical few who are still alive.

Because science is just so important.

For those who have trouble seeing through the sarcasm, I’ll just say it: this is a vintage bad idea. Also, please don’t kill all the mice. Raichu is a mouse, and if there were no more Raichus, that would be just sad.

A couple years ago, I thought that Bitcoin was the stuff. Then I found out how much used Pokémon games were appreciating. But now, I’m thinking that maybe investing in lifeboat rations may not be a bad idea. And maybe some other survival supplies.