Yesterday, I finally got around to playing Wuthering Waves. After everything that I’ve been hearing about it, I was expecting my socks to be blown clear into the next county, and to have been lost in the chocolatey deeps of the most engaging gameplay to have ever been developed by the molecular gastronomists of interactive entertainment.

What I got instead was a Genshin Impact ROM hack.

That’s not to say that it’s a bad game. But if you think Wuthering Waves (WW) is a good game, you might have the same opinion of Genshin Impact. They’re basically the same game.

The controls, the HUD, the basic mechanics, they’re all lifted 1:1 from Genshin Impact. You’re wandering an open world in the same way, you’re switching between characters in the same way, and there’s a similar system to that of elemental skills and elemental bursts.

Even the gliding is the same. But at this point, are you really surprised? There are even monoliths similar in color to Genshin’s teleport points, for how much Kuro Games cares about having its own voice.

Supposedly, at some point, you get to double jump or run up walls. Okay? And this is supposed to make WW any less of a blatant ripoff?

Imagine if I were to take the classic Super Mario Bros., change the appearance of the assets, change the level layout, and then gave the plumber a double jump. Would I really be able to proclaim that I’ve made the better game, as though my achievement in game design would be one in which I could take true pride?

Also, the “Traveler” in WW is called “Rover”. Thankfully, “Drifter” wasn’t already taken, so some other enterprising Asian game developers can make their own Genshin ROM hack.

It occurs to me now that I was way too hard on Digimon for its similarities to Pokémon. While it’s true that Digimon bears similarities to Pokémon, at least Digimon tried to be different enough to be distinct. Wuthering Waves is so similar to Genshin Impact that I wouldn’t be surprised to find Genshin assets after datamining Wuthering Waves.

Also, the characters in WW don’t have any personality from what I’ve seen so far. Remember Amber and Kaeya from Genshin? They practically oozed personality. Even the Traveler had a personality. And voice acting that was actually emotive.

If you’ve played WW, don’t tell me to play more. Instead, tell me about a character you like, and why they were interesting. Convince me to care, or at least do a better job than WW. I want to care. But I don’t. I don’t care what the Rover’s deal is. The woman who held her hand at the beginning just didn’t inspire warmth, though the game seemed to try. The women who found him at the outset were as uncanny as the nymphs from Hylas and the Nymphs, attractive without question, but uncanny in the same way.

But you know what? Maybe WW just doesn’t suit my tastes. Maybe I prefer that anime-style characters be colorful and expressive. If you’re the kind of guy who has been spending the last couple decades trying to convince Nintendo fans that great graphics means that a game’s full color palette is gradients of grey and brown with intermittent laser-pointer red and gun muzzle flare, and that you have more fun playing the same first person shooter every year, then perhaps we’ve reached an impasse, and WW might just be dreary enough for you.

I know that it seems like I’m not giving WW a chance, but I gave it a try. When I see that WW has as many fans as it does, it occurs to me that perhaps I’m a little strange because I give a care whether the game I’m playing is a product of creativity or a blatant ripoff of someone else’s work.

But if you’ve plagiarized your way through college, I have a game recommendation for you.