I had my own idea of how it was supposed to go. I’d set an alarm for 11:45, get some sleep, then when it came time to do a pre-order, it would be over with in minutes, then it would be back to bed. Whether it worked or not, I’d know in minutes, and could then get some sleep and later consider a backup plan.

No points for guessing that it went differently.

I was prepared to descend into battle against a bunch of bots, scalpers, and fellow Nintendo fans, as well as some social media influencers (I’ll save it for the end). What surprised me was how long it took.

My online retailer of choice was Best Buy. My reasoning had to do with the fact that the location I visited a few weeks back had a pile of PS5 Pros just sitting out, at a time when they were hard to find. Seemed reasonable to think the same store might have a few Switch 2s to spare after they would launch, so I made my account, set my location, got a page open to refresh, and downloaded the mobile app, to be safe.

Best Buy didn’t just screw the pooch, they nailed it to the porch to be thorough. Pre-order links would not become available until a half-hour after the scheduled time. Not only that, but customers such as myself had to wait in a que that gave no indication of progress. As I entertained the thought that the que was broken, I considered backing out and starting over, but didn’t want to lose my place in a hypothetical invisible line.

Eventually, I got a pre-order link! I clicked it, but for some unknown reason, it didnt work, so it was back to the back of the line. So, in addition to having been screwed and nailed, the pooch was also staple gunned.

I made additional attempts with multiple instances of Best Buy open on desktop, my phone browser, and the app, but to no avail. Out of desperation, I decided to also try other retailers.

GameStop would have probably been pointless, as I don’t remember having an account with them, and I’d probably have been de-prioritized by reason of having a new account.

Target would intermittently show a pre-order link, but each attempt to click on it would result in a failure message. The way it happened made me suspect that pre-orders were being made available in waves in an attempt to manage the traffic. That would have been an interesting plan, but it wouldn’t have been so great for those of us who’d rather get some sleep than stare at display screens in the middle of the night, which we’d have plenty of opportunity to do once we have our Switch 2 systems!

Also, I’ve been hearing that Target has been arbitrarily canceling pre-orders. That sounds like a nightmare.

Then, there’s Wal-Mart. Oh, Wal-Mart. I’ve long had an account with you. I’ve been buying lots of stuff from you. You know that I’m human. There was no need for me to hold some silly button to prove that that’s the case with a pseudo-captcha.

Personally, I suspect that it’s was the means to manage the influx of web traffic. But if they wanted to keep me busy, why not load a cheap knockoff of Space Invader to keep me entertained? The pseudo-captcha was kinda condescending.

I didn’t expect it, but it was Wal-Mart that came through. And I have an idea of how it happened, which might help people who are still trying. At some point, I noticed that a Switch 2 Pro Controller was available. I wanted one, so I added it to my cart. Later, I noticed that a Switch 2 became available.

It might be that there wasn’t a causal relationship, but it’s possible that adding to my cart another piece of Switch 2 merchandise may have sufficiently demonstrated that I probably wasn’t a scalper. If that’s how it works, it might help for those who are still trying. And if you don’t actually want a piece of merchandise, you can just remove it from your cart before checking out.

I want to see my fellow Nintendo enthusiasts succeed. As for scalpers, not so much. At least, not until they’ve reevaluated their choice to damage some beloved hobbies for a quick buck.

But then there’s the social media influencers who have been complaining about anything about Switch 2 that they possibly could, thinking that the algorithm would promote their negativity. It’s funny how interested they suddenly are in being among the first to own a Switch 2, isn’t it? It’s funnier still how many of them are angry because they couldn’t secure a pre-order of the console they already decided that they hate so much.

They’re disingenuous hacks, and they don’t deserve to have Switch 2s. And they don’t seem so cool now, do they, now that it’s obvious that they didn’t believe what they’ve been saying?