Remember the rioters who entered a church last week, and proceeded to disrupt services with social media mindrot inanities? A third one of them was arrested.
The other two I didn’t comment on, because they were pretty much nobodies as far as I could tell. This will probably be as famous as they’ll ever be. Putting Don Lemon aside, the one who was just arrested would have been the one I was most interested in seeing face the consequences.
The offender is William Kelly, a self-professed combat veteran who has made it his mission to pick on Christians, probably because it’s easier to scrape up some amount of empty bravado when the target is the religion with the least potential for violent retaliation.
You might remember that he was the one who recorded what was probably the most well-known video of the incident, and being so sure of himself that he at one point put his own face in the frame:
In the video, William Kelly belligerently confronted worshippers who had assembled in the church, on the suspicion that the pastor was an ICE agent. Whether this was true or not, this behavior was not justified.
The incident resulted in the following image trending, which depicted a visibly distraught child who was at the church during the incident being comforted by his parents:
Since then, Kelly learned that the DOJ was investigating the incident. Kelly then followed up by saying that he was at the church during the intrusion, and challenged US Attorney General Pam Bondi to arrest him. How that’s supposed to help him, I don’t know. I imagine that he believes he’s playing 4D chess while the rest of us are playing Backgammon, or something.
If you’re being investigated for committing a crime, it’s usually counterproductive to go on main and confess to the crime. Not that I’m a lawyer, or anything. If firing your mouth off and confessing on social media is supposed to be a genius move, please explain it to me like I’m five in the comment section. It’s complicated, I’m sure.
I mean, if you’re going to steal an iPhone from Walmart, would you record video of yourself doing it, and upload it to social media? Then, when Walmart replies saying that they’re investigating the incident, would you dare the police to arrest you? I’d imagine that most people would recognize the obvious stupidity every step of the way.
But in the happy magical world of William Kelly, I imagine that acting like the poster child for Oppositional Defiant Disorder is supposed to make a fascist authoritarian system of white supremacists immediately yield by reason of the sound waves he emits.
By the way, Kelly’s beanie is almost as stupid as the brain it’s wrapped around. It says, “F*CK TRUMP”, as though he wants you to know just how edgy he is for making such a daring statement in this current political climate. But when he intrudes into a church while yelling, the obvious expletive is obscured for the benefit of the children in attendance. The very same children that he otherwise makes uncomfortable to the point of crying. Because he’s willing to draw the line somewhere.
Well, now he’s been charged with conspiracy to deprive rights, and is going to go through the federal system, famous for a conviction rate as high as 99%. Of course, his confession isn’t going to help him.
Perhaps he can get a new beanie that reads, “F*CKED AROUND FOUND OUT”.
Imagine being a hot dog, and that face is the last thing you see.
One thing that repeatedly comes up when discussing this guy was the idea that, while he was in the Army from 2007 to 2011, he was an HR Specialist who never saw combat contrary to his claim, and received an “other than honorable” discharge for bad conduct. Considering what we’ve seen out of William Kelly lately, this is believable, but believable doesn’t mean true.
While digging around, I found this reply on X from someone who claimed to have known him:
We were 1-25SBCT… I can't for the life of me remember our commanders name
— Shnea𐤊 ySquirrel (@ShneakySquirrel) January 22, 2026.
But I won't pretend he was some morally superior dude or anything. He got drunk and did drugs like a lot of people, and just didn't get caught. He stole one of my best friends girl and married…
Transcript:
We were 1-25SBCT… I can’t for the life of me remember our commanders name
But I won’t pretend he was some morally superior dude or anything. He got drunk and did drugs like a lot of people, and just didn’t get caught. He stole one of my best friends girl and married her.
I kept in contact with him for years, and I watched him slowly get radicalized by the media once Trump went into office in 2016.
His trajectory wasn’t unforeseeable. But he also was a good soldier. There is no black/white good/bad when it comes to people. You can’t simultaneously think murder is bad, but think governments can’t extend a license which makes murder morally excusable. He was a kid who joined the infantry because he, like many others, wanted to kill people and serve his country. He was an adrenaline junkie. He got exposed to a bunch of stuff in the military that certainly changed his personality and his adjustment afterwards.
I’ve seen people call him a lot of names and shit, and I’m not excusing his antagonistic behavior. But I will absolutely step in to defend his honor against being accused of Stolen Valor.
When it comes to matters like this, the truth is already a handful. If someone could back up the claim that he was discharged for bad behavior, that might help.
Notice the part where the poster says that Kelly slowly got “radicalized by the media once Trump went into office in 2016.” Many such cases.
As we’ve often seen, the left-wing radicalization pipeline has lead to someone doing something stupid, and becoming a laughingstock from sea to shining sea. And in some cases, people become so mentally damaged that they’re able to justify doing something as outrageous as what William Kelly has done.
Magnetricity 