Another old Simpsons episode is now surprisingly relevant

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I know that cartoons like The Simpsons are only fiction, and that because of this, using it to illustrate a point isn’t always helpful. The person writing them can write in any lesson that they want, including those that may not work in reality, but can work in a fictional setting anyway, by nature of being a fictional work.

Still, an old cartoon can make a point that puts things into perspective, and that perspective might be much needed.

Also, using cartoons to illustrate a point is fun, and can hold the attention of those who grew up with the same cartoons.

You may remember an old episode of The Simpsons, titled Itchy and Scratchy and Marge. In the episode, an infant character Maggie strikes her father Homer with a mallet, leaving the child’s mother Marge perplexed as to why Maggie would do such a thing. Later, she sees an episode of a cartoon, Itchy and Scratchy.

Itchy and Scratchy is an in-universe parody of a real-life cartoon Tom and Jerry, but with a stronger emphasis on graphic violence, and airs as part of a program called Krusty the Clown, which is enjoyed by Marge’s other children, Bart and Lisa. Interestingly, while Lisa normally abhors violence, she adores Itchy and Scratchy with the same enthusiasm as Bart.

Having watched the cartoon for herself, and seeing little Maggie attempting to stab Homer with a pencil, Marge makes a mental connection, and decides to take action.

As the episode progresses, Marge eventually builds a coalition, which successfully convinces the writers of Itchy and Scratchy to write a non-violent episode. Predictably, this causes viewers of Krusty the Clown to lose interest, resulting in them playing outside, instead.

For Marge, this appears to be a victory. However, the episode doesn’t end there. The curators of a famous work of art were on a tour which would take them through Marge’s home town of Springfield.

Marge believed the work to be a masterpiece. However, the coalition she was previously a part of objected to it, by reason of it being a depiction of nudity. Thus, there was a new conflict driving the plot, as Marge contested the coalition she herself was instrumental in forming, while being criticized for her alleged hypocrisy for opposing the artistic depiction of violence, while defending an artistic depiction of nudity.

In the end, Marge won out again, and Marge and Homer got to see the statue for themselves at an exhibit, where they expressed a desire for their children to also see it for themselves, possibly through a school field trip.

There are numerous takeaways that a person could come away with after watching this episode. But the one I would like to focus on is the main theme, which concerns the freedom of expression in practice.

Due to the ironic nature of how the characters in The Simpsons are written, it can be difficult to determine whether the characters learn lessons which may be apparent to viewers.

Marge initially disregarded the principle of free expression, apparently taking a position which favored her own interests. Rather than properly instructing her own children, she opted for convenience, insisting on  entertainment media which she saw as having less potential for negative influence.

But when a work of art was to arrive in town which she regarded as a masterpiece, she defended it, against the objections of the cadre she had previously sided with.

The undertone of the episode illustrates to viewers that protecting free expression doesn’t just mean protecting expressions that one prefers, it also means tolerating the presence of expressions that may not appeal to one’s sensibilities. Otherwise, one risks being seen as hypocritical, as Marge did.

Also relevant to today, one can notice that the coalition that Marge helped form didn’t stop with the art she didn’t like, it continued with the art that she did like. That’s how it often goes with such collectivist groups, they can develop in ways that’s difficult to predict, and they often develop desires which are well beyond what they may have initially expressed.

Turns out that everything is peachy-keen.

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Okay, so that one guy? You know the one. The one who trafficked children to people on his client list? Turns out that those children weren’t being trafficked to anyone. That’s right, there’s actually no client list.

That’s right: the client list that we were told totally existed, and was sitting on someone’s desk, awaiting publication, wasn’t actually a thing. All those high-society people actually just crank it out to anime drawings, like normal people.

Therefore, the guy was innocent. The innocent guy, who was arrested for no reason in particular, decided to take his own life in jail, because apparently that’s something that he decided was the thing to do.

Want proof? Of course you do, you ingrate. That’s why they’ve released long video as proof of a closed room, which conveniently comes to us at a time in which deepfakes have developed to the point that they can be indistinguishable from real video.

But dont think too much about that. Or the fact that about a minute is missing from the footage, after which point the camera position or resolution has changed, or whatever. Don’t think too much about that.

Or anything, for that matter. Don’t ask questions. Just consoom product, then get excited for next product.

So that mean guy with the island, the island that’s colloquially referred to as “the island of sin” by the other Virgin islanders? Don’t think about him, or his victims, who (again) were totally not trafficked to anyone.

He wasn’t so mean, after all. Just continue distracting yourself with unlimited free entertainment. Isn’t there some event going on in Genshin Impact or whatever? Don’t be the weird guy who misses out. FOMO and all that.

So, yep. Drama’s over. And I’m not just saying that because there’s some laser beam in outer space that’s pointed straight down, or to satisfy the guy next door who points a microwave in my direction, and somehow operates it with the door open. There. I said it. I know you’re reading this! I’m wise to your schemes! Stop stealing my thoughts!

But there you have it. Show’s over, nothing more to see, stop asking questions, and please tune in to a trusted cable news source to stay informed of all the things which the state prefers contribute to your anxiety.

Fake MAGA and the Weaponization of Bullplop

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If Fake MAGA lived eight decades ago.

It’s no secret that much of the internet is about influencing other people to do things. Because of this, it shouldn’t be a surprise that foreign actors can use social media to influence Joe and Jane Q. Public.

Now, the Network Contagion Research Institute (NCRI) has determined that foreign actors are attempting to infiltrate the MAGA movement with the intent of dividing it against itself. The infiltraters have been aptly termed, “Fake MAGA”, and because these bots and fake accounts are sophisticated, they might not give the same kind of “hello fellow children” vibe as you might sense from your usual imposter.

It’s evident that leftists are also being infiltrated, but I’ll come back to that.

Because the report gets really specific and even names the names of some prominent figures in the fringe of the MAGA movement, the NCRI had better have been really careful in crossing its “i”s and dotting its “t”s (or however it’s supposed to go). Because if they muffed some things up, the NCRI might face some totes cereal defamation lawsuits.

The report alleges that foreign actors have created bot accounts on the social media platform we now know as X (formerly Twitter), creating accounts well in advance of events that they might comment on to give them the appearance of authenticity, and farming engagement for fringe MAGA personalities most likely to propagate messages sympathetic to Russia and Iran, increasing the likelihood that the greater MAGA movement will change their perspective given the peer pressure.

I strongly recommend reading the report for yourself. While some aspects can be questioned, it’s still an eye-opening report, and does a great job of explaining why we saw a recent spike in pro-Iranian MAGA chuds in recent days.

Among the names that were named in the report as carrying water for Fake MAGA are Nick Fuentes, Jake Shields, and Jackson Hinkle, as well as Draven Noctis, Megatron_Ron, and Adam eMedia. About half these names are ones I’ve heard of, and I’ve probably muted at least a couple because I got sick of their bullshit.

Among the allegations made by NCRI are that some of these personalities are in league with foreign actors, and benefitted from engagement farming.

From my perspective, Jake Shields and his ilk look like the kind of guys who would say anything if it were to net them engagement, and it’s hard to imagine them with any kind of sincere principle. As for me, if I were to wake up one morning next to five million dollars then discover that I got it by acting like Jake Shields, I’d probably set fire to the money, then jump into it.

As for the alleged bot accounts, the report alleges that a high volume of them were started around two specific dates: April 26 and October 28, both in the year 2022. These dates are approximate to, but not precisely on, the initiation and completion of Elon Musk’s acquisition of Twitter (April 14 and October 27th, respectively). To be fair, this would be about the time that many with sincerely-held right wing opinions may have started accounts, determining that the platform may become less hostile. However, the sudden influx in accounts would have made excellent cover for the influx of bots.

How does an ordinary user identify the bots? Before we get carried away and point to accounts created on those dates, remember that many sincere MAGA people were joining at around the dates mentioned above. The stronger giveaway is a sudden influx of so-called MAGA accounts posting sympathetically towards foreign adversaries.

Many of the accounts in question were so-called “groypers”, with heavily on-the-nose nationalistic sentiments, and they suspiciously drop “false flag” conspiracy theories in tandem with one another, particularly immediately after a significant event. Interestingly, many of these bots have had blue checkmarks purchased for them, adding to the illusion of authenticity.

When enough of these bots are acting in tandem, they can manipulate the algorithm to create the effect of a flood of their posts in the feeds of those on the right. The goal is to influence the opinions of right wingers through the illusion of peer pressure.

If you were on X immediately following the bombing of Iranian nuclear facilities by US forces, then you’ve probably seen a flood of Fake MAGA bot posts. And they seem to have continued until about mid-day yesterday, as though someone noticed that something was amiss, and pulled the plug on them.

Interestingly, other social media platforms didn’t have the same bot problem. YouTube didn’t have to put up with any Fake MAGA crap. Even Minds seemed unaffected. It was basically just X which was targeted.

Until the time that the party was over, the community did find a few Fake MAGA accounts on their own. At least one of them, which was subsequently deleted, was found by CatTurd. Another was outed by Community Notes:

A Fake MAGA proclaiming that he won’t die for a foreign country conjures the mental image of an overweight groyper sitting on his couch being handed conscription papers.

No one expects him to die for a foreign country. No one expects him to die for his own country. It’s more realistic to expect him to die from complications related to his own diet.

If you’re wondering whether bots and other Fake MAGA accounts can participate in surveys, yes, they can. It’s not a new thing, but here’s a recent example:

The Twitter survey, and all its famous scientific accuracy.

If you’ve never heard of Felix Rex, he’s a somewhat obscure YouTuber who sounded insightful back in 2016, but has since taken to schizo-posting. It’s gotten to the point that he believes that red-haired people are the descendents of an ancient race of genetically engineered humans.

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, by the way.

While matters are relatively back to normal for the time being, there have been casualties in the recent bot insurgency. On the bright side, we now have a better idea of who the grifters are. In that sense, the Fake MAGA bots did us a favor.

But let’s not kid ourselves into thinking that it’s over. The fact is, America’s adversaries have found a new way to demoralize America, and it’s on us to remain true to ourselves, regardless of what an apparent majority may think. We saw what happens when a fake majority attempts to bandwagon Americans into thinking that Iran should be left to develop nukes.

I like to say, stand up for what’s right, even if you’re standing alone.

I said earlier that I’d come back to how leftists are probably handling it. Yes, leftists are being influenced by foreigners. And they don’t seem to have a defense. Stands to reason considering that they have an unhealthy amount of outgroup empathy, which the foreign adversaries can easily exploit.

I think the following cartoon illustrates how easily they can be influenced:

One way or another, the left is going to set cars on fire, throw molotov cocktails, and loot Apple stores. For what cause? Our foreign adversaries will decide.

The US and Israel Has Just Answered Iran Correctly.

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The United States has just gotten involved in the conflict in Iran, striking several key nuclear sites. Among these was the famous Fordow site located deep underground, necessitating the use of the B2 Spirit bombers, which are uniquely suited to delivering the famous “MOP” bunker buster, capable of burrowing deep underground to deliver its business.

There’s no question that this strike made the world a far safer place, as it deprived the Ayatollah of the nuclear munitions that he undoubtedly would have eagerly deployed against nations such as the United States and Israel, both of whom he frequently wished death upon.

However, this move faced pushback from the more pacifistic elements of the MAGA movement, who stated that they voted for Trump believing that he would have been more hesitant to get the US involved in foreign conflicts. While it wouldn’t surprise me if an examination of their digital footprints were to reveal that they are actually Pakistanis who don’t live in the US, assuming that they do, an examination of their convictions reveals that they don’t have a strong understanding of how the world works, nor have they given much thought to the philosophical bases behind their convictions.

On the bright side, they seem to change their viewpoints somewhat when you attempt to reason with them, which makes them much better than most of the people who I take issue with.

It also gives me an opportunity to make a point that I’ve wanted to make for a long time: That freedom of speech does not protect all forms of speech.

I say this as a strongly free speech kinda guy. You want to make a video game where the protagonist commits outrageous crimes? That’s protected speech. Want to draw comics of fictional characters committing graphic acts of violence? Also protected speech. It might not be according to my taste, but it’s free expression.

Those on the right tend more towards free speech absolutism. It seems largely to come from the idea that having free speech means saying whatever you want, which is pretty much a reductive perspective that they tell elementary school students because there’s less expectation that they’d understand the more nuanced aspects of the matter.

Is defamation a form of protected free expression? No, it is not. It can damage a person’s reputation and cost them opportunities. If it can be proven that defamation has caused damages, the person who committed it can be taken to civil court.

Let’s get closer to the heart of the matter. Are threats of harm a protected form of expression? No, they are not. A person’s freedom ceases to be their freedom when it interferes with the freedom of another, including the right of a person to be secure in their person or their property.

To illustrate, here’s a story: Suppose you lived in a neighborhood, and you’ve made a few friends there. However, there’s one person there who doesn’t like you. Let’s call him “Loose Cannon”.

One day, Loose comes up to you and tells you that he wishes you dead. He doesn’t just say it to you, he also says it to your neighbors, particularly the ones who you’re friends with. But, no one in the neighborhood thinks much of this because Loose is only 5 feet tall, has a poorly-maintained beard, and bows, kneels, and scrapes to some rock idol in the middle of a desert five times a day. There’s no expectation that Loose can do much of anything.

And it’s not a one-time thing, either. Loose keeps wishing you and your friends dead, day after day for years on end. And you and your friends keep brushing him off. He seems sincere in his hatred, but his words don’t seem threatening coming from him.

But then, matters escalate significantly. Eventually, Loose comes up to you and tells you that he’s going to buy a rifle, and use it to shoot you and your family and your friends. Quite alarming. He then runs off.

Minutes later, one of your friends calls you and tells you that Loose just said the same thing to him, and that Loose had just gotten into his car to go to the gun shop. Highly actionable information.

Just then, you look out the window, and you see Loose driving down the street. Not only that, one of your friends had just shot out his tires. Seeing an opportunity, you and your friend immediately subdue Loose, performing a citizen’s arrest.

While a citizen’s arrest is legally risky, the police do arrive and take Loose away, leaving the neighborhood much safer thanks to you and your friend’s efforts. A job well done, to be sure.

But then, one of your neighbors starts yelling at you. Let’s call him “Limpy Smallpart”. Limpy starts yelling at you and your friend for not resolving the matter more peacefully. He points out that Loose had some grievance that should have been heard, and that if he did have a rifle, he would have been in a better position to negotiate.

You probably wouldn’t take Limpy seriously. Because of course you wouldn’t. You and your neighbor return to your respective homes, all while Limpy shouts himself silly. Then Limpy, being upset that no one is paying attention to him, turns to social media and makes memes about how you suck off your neighbor, to an audience of exactly one who believes in conspiracy theories too stupid to make into movies.

While the legality of the actions of the characters in this story can be debated, there’s no question that you and your neighbor would have acted morally in recognizing a threat of impending harm and responding by mitigating that threat.

Now, take this story and multiply it in scale by millions of times, and you should be able to comprehend why the United States and Israel were moral and responsible in how they responded to the Iranian regime, who has been making repeated threats against the United States and Israel, and have been continually attacking Israel through proxies such as Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis, and have been attempting to secretly develop nuclear arms.

Notice how no other country on the planet is coming to Iran’s defense? That’s because it’s obvious how irrational that the Ayatollah is being. And the fact is, no one wants another nuclear weapon to be detonated, especially not in a central location like the eastern Mediterranean.

While I could lay into the pacifistic MAGA, what keeps them from being idiots is that they actually do seem to change their perspective when they realize a few things about how the world works (admittedly, the world isn’t ideal), and that the Iranian regime is the kind that cannot truly be reasoned with.

To the end of increasing understanding, there are a couple things I could point out. First, that the United States is as prosperous as it is because it’s a hegemonic power. When you realize this, many of their foreign policy decisions start to make a lot more sense. It also makes it more clear why Americans eat as well as they do. But when it comes down to it, the world at large has benefitted pretty heavily from the US’s superpower status, including those who they’ve previously conquered. The US has opened up sea lanes to just about everyone, which has been great for global trade. Germany and Japan’s best days came after practically becoming vassal states for the US. While the US can be called an empire, it’s a hugely benevolent empire. If the US were to turn isolationist, other nations would rise to attempt to fill the power void, resulting in global conflict, and it’s highly likely that a less moral nation would assume the vacated position of hegemonic authority. At that point, Americans would likely learn a few things about Russia and China.

Second, it’s naive to think that western values are universal. People in the Middle East actually do take their respective religions seriously, enough so that they allow their religions to have an effect on the way that they live. This is quite eye-opening to the Western world, which largely professes Christianity, but follows philosophical concepts and days of observance which don’t have Biblical origins. As for Iran, only about 30% of Iranians are practicing Muslims, but the entire country is being controlled by a small cadre of religious fanatics who consider it to be their religious duty to fight against Christians and Jews. Most of the Islamic world is not as fanatical as the Ayatollah, and to trust him with a nuclear bomb is like… trusting the Ayatollah with a nuclear bomb. Something as comparably stupid does not come readily to mind. You cannot reason with the Ayatollah unless you know what motivates him, and if you’re a rational person, you’re motivated by different things than he is. And even if you do know what motivates him, you still cannot reason with him.

But thankfully, the irresponsibly pacifistic are not in a position to make decisions on the global stage, and the world is far safer for having the Ayatollah’s nuclear ambitions subverted. And it’s not really necessary for everyone to understand this. If it’s your thing to sit on the sofa and pretend that you’re standing for something, you benefitted from the US’s decision, whether you know it or not.

But one thing that I think most of us can agree on is that we’re better off for not having Kamala Harris being the one issuing the orders.

The Saddest Banquet

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Invitation in hand, the young man approached the door. On the other side, it was the banquet to which he was invited. But as he neared the door, his expectations steadily dropped, until the moment that he pulled back on the handle, and upon crossing from the sunlit expanse to the florescent illumination of the liminal space, all speculation came to an end.

It was surreal. An expanse of tables. Empty tables. No food, no chairs, and no people at all in the noiseless hall. Not so much as the murmuring of a hypothetical event staff in another room, or the stirring of busy caterers. Just silence, and, eerily enough, not so much as a scent, save for the lingering scent of the surfactants used in the building’s maintenance.

The young man’s attention turned again to the flier in his hand, specifically, the date and time thereon. He then confirmed with his watch that he was there at the right time, and the right date. And the location was correct, this rural hall with only the subtlest signs that anyone had recently been there.

The young man’s attention was drawn towards the only movement in the room, the fans hanging from beams on the high ceiling, a scarce circuitous movement on the lowest setting.

The young man was very aware of the sound of his own footsteps as he turned back towards the door, for to peek his head outside. As it was upon his arrival, his was the only vehicle in the parking lot. Complete silence told him that there were no other vehicles around that might have been approaching.

Back inside again, the young man’s gaze rested on an empty table. He knew that it was a meaningless exercise to remain for a few minutes more, save for to cynically claim that he did. His mind drifted to the time that it took him to get to that very event. Precious time. Time he would not get back.

In another world, this might have been where the people were. Connections would be made, and the courses of lives would change. But there was none of that here.

He had no idea how he knew that he would be the only human being who would set foot in that building for the duration of the event, but somehow, he was certain of it. The young man had his hopes. But no one else cared, not even those who organized the event. Not even they bothered to come, or so much as set out some donuts or coffee.

This was no ordinary disappointment. The young man knew that he would remember this event for a long time.

He turned his attention to the invitation in his hand. It was printed on a single thin sheet of eight-by-eleven office paper. And it wasn’t worth that much.

So, he set the invitation on one of the many empty tables, turned around, and went right back out the door, to leave as he entered, completely alone. And as he did so, he made a determination.

If he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for there, he would go to those who have it.

Nintendo Switched Something They Shouldn’t Have, Then Things Went Wrong

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To get right to it, something is going wrong with attempts to play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate online using Switch 2 systems.

The problem might occur when a player attempts to use one character in specific: the Mii Fighter.

In SSBU, the Mii Fighter is a customizable character. In fact, you can use a Mii that is associated with your Nintendo account. This gives the character a personal element.

So, what’s the problem? When a player with a Switch 2 attempts to use a Mii Fighter in an online match, the match might immediately end. Why? I’m not sure, but it might have to do with a change to the customization options for the Mii avatars so players can no longer choose a gender for them.

Nintendo has given a provisional solution to the issue to players: by asking players to refrain from using the Mii Fighter in online matches.

Perhaps Nintendo is working on a patch. It’s hard to imagine that they’d want to leave things as they are.

As I see it, if the problem is with the change to the Mii customization option, that’s the problem to address, preferably by reverting to allowing for the option to pick between male and female. The issue shouldn’t be with Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, considering that it worked online just fine on Switch prior to the launch of Switch 2.

If messing with the gender choices of the avatars is what’s causing the issue, it sounds like another example of messing with something that shouldn’t have been messed with, resulting in undesirable consequences.

Recent attempts to blur the distinctions between the sexes in competitive sports comes to mind.

Harro! I herd u liek sammich!

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It doesn’t happen consistently, but we now have another instance of someone being caught in the process of doing something incredibly stupid being saved from herself. In this case, we have the picture above, that of Greta Thunberg having lived to see the day that an Israeli soldier handed her a turkey sandwich.

What preceded this: In a publicity stunt, Greta set out on a yacht for the Gaza strip with a negligible aid package, all in an effort to show solidarity with Palestinians.

What nearly happened: Greta wasn’t wearing a burka, so she likely could have lost some blood and became the focal point in another case study in the tragedy of thinking that certain values are universal. Her best hope of surviving or avoiding being held hostage would have come with Hamas having already informed the Palestinians who would have found her that her stunt was way too valuable as propaganda.

What’s currently happening: Israel is to show Greta unedited video footage of the Oct. 7 2023 terror attack on Israel, effectively showing Greta what already happened to other people, and what nearly happened to her.

What’s going to happen: I don’t know. I can’t see the future. The best I could do is guess. If Greta is sufficiently intelligent, she’ll learn a few things about what she’s been defending. There’d probably still be some copycat out for a cynic’s quest.

But as for Greta, the right people aren’t always going to be around to save her from herself, so it’s probably just a matter of time before she ends her career of bullshittery. How it happens is anyone’s guess.

Why are so many social media influencers fake?

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There is a problem in the influencer sphere, and the launch of the Switch 2 has made it clear. I’m not putting a specific influencer on blast, considering that this is a problem that’s not limited to just one. Perhaps you can think of some examples. But what I’m getting at is that many influencers out there, perhaps most, aren’t even real.

If you’ve been following along with the Switch 2, it’s likely that you’ve seen a few influencers find one problem or another with the system. One of them in particular has gone on to say that they wouldn’t even purchase one.

But he did. And not just him, but numerous other influencers who likewise spoke of the hybrid console as though it were the worst console in their lifetime.

Obviously, these people didn’t believe what they said. These people are disingenuous. And the reason why these people act as disingenuously as they do is because they are incentivized by the algorithm.

The fact is that the algorithm tends to promote negativity in its many forms. Did you get recommended a short video of a fistfight that broke out in a bodega? Or a list of mistakes that were made by a multinational corporation? Or did you stare with indignation at a confrontation with an obvious imbalance of power?

That’s the algorithm pushing negativity onto you. But it doesn’t do so for no reason. In fact, the algorithm itself isn’t capable of malice on its own. Putting aside that the algorithm could be used as a tool to further an agenda (and, let’s be honest, we’ve seen plenty of that), the algorithm is like a mirror turned back at us, showing people content that is likely to hold their attention, considering not only the content that an individual has already engaged with, but also in consideration of the tendency of typical human psychology.

To get right down to it, humanity has a negativity problem, with the recommendations from algorithms being a second order effect of this problem. And because of this second order effect, influencers have an incentive to produce negative content, raking in ad revenue for having done so, and contributing to the problem.

There’s a strong chance that your favorite influencer is not real.

And it’s not just about the newest game console. Political streamers also know that there’s money involved, and they want some of it. And to this end, they’ll dehumanize their political opponents with the most pejorative adjectives, flavored with the buzz words that they know will get a response. Not because they believe it, but because they can make a few bucks, and they don’t give a shit who they turn against each other.

There are other kinds of influencers who game the system in this way, but political streamers are among the most notable offenders.

If you want a strong indicator of who’s sincere, it’s likely the people who are swimming against the stream of the algorithms, and against whatever is the prevailing zeitgeist of the agencies who manage online talent as a business. And speaking of, these corporate talent agencies have long been a source of self-censorship in social media. In the V-Tuber space, for example, indie V-Tubers are a better source of sincerety than the corporate ones that have been shackled with the golden handcuffs. Corporate influencers are the ones who have to look over their shoulders to be sure they’re not saying something against the values of their agency or its network of advertisers. And their respective agencies “reward” them by scraping away their revenue. Because who needs ethics when you can just legally steal money from people who actually produce value?

Considering all this, I’ve come to the point of finding forced negativity in social media cringy, especially when it’s obviously coming from a place of incentive rather than sincerety or just humor.

But it’s really only one of many ways that many, many social media personalities are fake.

End Holden Caulfield moment.

Switching Up: My First Impressions of the Switch 2

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Nintendo’s Switch 2 has joined the list of things that have gone from urban legend to merchandise. And having spent some time with the new console/handheld hybrid in my hands, I can give a first impression of it.

The TL;DR of it is that it rules, but there’s some room for improvement. And that improvement will come in the form of software which is expected to come at some point in the future.

Nintendo’s latest lotus eater machine is basically the same as their last one, but with significantly improved performance, and some other quirks as well. This is basically what I would have wanted, and the safest move on Nintendo’s part to avoid alienating those who have built digital libraries on the Switch ecosystem.

My impression of the physical dimensions out of the box is that Switch 2 is kind of a big machine, as far as portables go. That means a bigger screen, but it also means slightly decreased portability. I think the Switch 2 has hit the sweet point with respect to screen size and portability. That sweet point would be different if the console/handheld were intended to fit in ones pocket, but for something to be transported in a carrying case, it’s just right. If Nintendo were to make an OLED model a couple years down the line, they’d be doing us a favor by not messing with the size of the device.

After a simple setup, I got into playing an updated version of a game I was really curious to see running on the new hardware, Pokémon Violet, which, along with Scarlet, became the first Pokémon games to run at 60 FPS since Pokémon Emerald on the GBA.

I was jarred by how significant the improvement was. I’m not new to high framerates, but when you’re expecting a certain game to run a certain way as a fact of life, when you see it running super smooth, it’s uncanny. And it’s not just the framerate, navigating the menus is snappy. While I did not measure it, it seems like loading from fast-traveling is a lot faster. Anyone care to confirm?

EDIT: It seems Centro LEAKS has an answer, but without video and with conveniently round numbers:

Then there’s the sheer amount of Pokémon that spawn in, even at a distance. For shiny hunters, this is a massive win. I had no problem finding a shiny Porygon 2 (which I nicknamed Switch 2), simply by leaving the spawn area then returning until I found a shiny one.

The caveat is that the grainy environmental assets still weren’t terribly impressive. But even with that, my current favorite Switch 2 game was an updated version of a game I already had.

The updated version of Pokémon S/V does put a new light on an old leak:

Speaking of updated games, I also played the two open world Zelda games in their Switch 2 form, BotW and TotK. I noticed the improved framerate, which again was uncanny considering my expectations. But because I’ve only played the Switch 2 versions of those games for a few minutes each, my analysis of those games would be far from comprehensive.

Then there’s was the Switch 2 version of Link’s Awakening. I didn’t notice any difference. But hey, it was improved in some way, right?

I also decided to try out a multiplatform, 3rd party game which was on the Switch, Made In Abyss: Binary Star Falling Into Darkness. I was expecting basically the same game, and that’s pretty much what I got. The best I realistically expected was far faster loading of areas when traveling, but the game still didn’t run the same as it does on my PC as far as that goes. I remember that loading on the PC version was nearly instantaneous, which made it my favorite version of Binary Star. It seems we can’t expect overly dramatic improvement from games which weren’t specifically optimized to run on Switch 2.

As for my first Switch 2 specific game, I went for Mario Kart World. After my first two grand prix, and some time on the open world, I’m left with a question: Is there a point in which this game is worth its steep price tag?

Nintendo’s strategy of not messing with what works has definitely been put into practice, here. MKW seems nearly identical to MK8, though the new feature of grinding on rails is admittedly pretty cool. There’s some new power-ups, and the races seem to have been mechanically changed to increase the possibility that players who fall behind could catch up, and it doesn’t come off as cheap (though that players that fall behind tend to get the better power-ups isn’t a new convention).

But then there’s the open world, which is supposedly MKW’s main selling point. It has challenges to clear with rewards, and lots of exploration with plenty of off-road. But MKW’s open world doesn’t seem to have a whole lot going on. Maybe we’re not supposed to compare it to the rich experience of TotK, where you can go in with no clear objective, but then get distracted by this, that, and the other thing, and soon have a mental list of things to do. But considering the price point, I think it would have been reasonable to expect some depth.

I appreciate that GameCube games were added to the NSO+, especially considering that the initial collection includes Wind Waker and Soul Calibur, a couple of my favorite games from back when people unironically said “roxor”, which is something that those games certainly did. I’m looking forward to the Genius Sonority Pokémon games, and if they have the capacity to transfer the Pokémon that you catch, that would be even better.

In addition to the console, I scored a Switch 2 Pro Controller. It might become my favorite controller. I’m liking how quiet the controller is. I noticed how, when you fully push the stick in a direction, the sound is dampened. This decreases the potential to distract from the action on the screen, or disturb the people around you.

I was kinda concerned about those programmable buttons on the underside of the controller, but it seems like they’re easy to ignore.

The price of the controller was steep, but if it’s going to be at least as durable as the Switch Pro Controller, it’ll be worth the money.

When a new console launches, it often goes that initial enthusiasm for it hinges largely on the launch library. For GBA, the main day-one system sellers were Castlevania CotM and a Mario 2 remake. Great choices, but more than a few probably went for it anticipating a Pokémon game. GameCube had Luigi’s Mansion and Rogue Squadron. It was rough for a while, but we eventually got SSB Melee and Metroid Prime.

That’s often how it goes with day-one console purchases, in that they start out slow, but become worthwhile with time, as more software becomes available on the platform. But in Switch 2’s case, we have plenty to play on day one, even if much of it is upgraded versions of games that we may already have in our collections. And it was played in such a way to stoke legitimate enthusiasm. What’s more, we know that Donkey Kong Bananza, Metroid Prime 4 and Pokémon Legends Z-A are coming, all in the next few months. But even before then, we do have quite a bit to hold us over, such as Street Fighter, Cyberpunk, and Hogwart’s Legacy. Add this all together, and Switch 2 has a strong day one library and launch window.

And if you’re a digital player, there’s a  benefit to mention: the eShop runs a lot faster. But there’s another that would be significant if a report about it is true. Reportedly, reading from a Micro SD Express card is faster than reading from a game card. Perhaps most might not notice, but it might be a small benefit to digital bros.

EDIT: I found a comparison of bootup of Mario Kart World from internal memory, SD Express, and from the game card. For fast boot up times for games that you intend to play a lot, it seems like keeping a digital version on internal memory is the best choice.

To wind this article down, I’ll go on a very brief tangent about an accessory I didn’t buy: the Switch 2 camera. There doesn’t seem to be much of a point, and it’s hard to picture using it very often. Maybe the cameras would be great for a Mario Kart party. But if you’ve played with family members, it’s usually when you’ve gathered together. If you want to conference with people you know while playing an online game, it’s usually over the phone or Discord. The group chat feature is neat, but I don’t care much for it.

A new console is usually a step forward for what game makers can express. But the Switch was an odd case where it was far more popular than the other consoles of its generation, in spite of being about 2 or 3 generations behind in terms of specs. Compared to the current gen, as far as processing power goes, the Switch 2 is still one generation behind. Yet, it does change the game industry in a sense, in that game companies don’t have to hobble their multiplatform games nearly as much if they want to reach out to a huge portion of the market. Yay, progress!

Still, the Switch was an awesome game system, and definitely an excellent case in the point that gamers care less about their games being polygon-pushers than they do about games being fun.

And at this point, it wouldn’t be at all surprising if the Switch 2 continued Nintendo’s momentum, and continued to prove that point.

Let’s Categorize the Losers Who Hate Anime

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To the end of arbitrary categorization, let’s look at various types of people who hate anime, with brief descriptions.

The Hanna-Barbara Boomer

This is the guy who remembers back when cartoons didn’t take their viewers seriously, didn’t bother with things like “character development” and “quality”, and still sees them as being for children, as though children don’t deserve a quality product.

The cartoons that he grew up with were boring and insipid, so it’s no surprise that he grew up to become yet another yutz who produces nothing of value, but still somehow has money. You probably somehow payed for the tech that he uses to fire off his mouth.

When he discovers Family Guy, his head will probably explode.

The MSM Karen

She’s one of the few people left who still listens to the mainstream media, so it’s no surprise when, after first hearing about anime from the MSM, she became convinced that it’s the biggest moral problem facing our country. She’s too closed-minded to listen to any facts to the contrary, which her minuscule brain will interpret as an attack against it.

If confronted with her, you can divert her attention if you were to present her with another documentary on another topic, provided the music is sufficiently creepy/mysterious-sounding, then find an opportunity to escape from this perfume-drenched outrage junkie.

The Baseball Cap

Jocko’s main beef with anime is that it’s complicated, therefore, he perceives it as threatening. And his way of dealing with threatening things is with torches and pitchforks.

The Baseball Cap looks forward to being accepted into college through a sports scholarship or, failing that, getting into the Army, unaware that the Army turns away those with an IQ under 82.

The Eagle Eye

This guy goes out of his way to make sure you know that he hates pedophiles. And because his peanut brain conflates anime with child abuse, he also hates anime and vilifies anyone who watches it.

Like anyone with dreams of being e-famous, he has a podcast that’s listened to by maybe one or two people, just in case you’re interested in the next installment of the series of “have I mentioned that I’m not a pedophile, today?” He also picks on furries. Or pretty much anything, as long as the heat’s off him and whatever the hell it is that he’s into.

The Funko Pop Bookshelf

The face of consoom culture, with the bookshelf to match. He unironically believes that buying Marvel crap makes him a better person, by reason of whatever the hell activist causes that multinational media conglomerates are currently bloviating about.

Like the Baseball Cap above, he’s an idiot. So if you were to get into the social commentary of Gundam or the psychological elements of Girls Last Tour, you’d likely be met with the same thousand-yard-stare that you’d see out of his rows and rows of near-identical Funko Pops.

The Espresso Spiritualist

This chick has the entire “You’re About to Hear Bullshit” starter pack. Power stones? Check. Thick-rimmed glasses? Double-check. Black nail polish? Standard issue. Hardcover copies of dubious spiritual tomes? It’s what the knapsack is for.

She basically believes that the Japanese are trying to hypnotize Americans with brainwaves, and that if you watch anime, you’re funding their efforts. You deal with her the same way as anyone else on this list: by not talking to her.

There you go. There’s others, but these are the kinds that are less likely to comprehend how embarrassing their viewpoints really are, increasing the likelihood that these are the ones that you’ll encounter.