I wish I was kidding, but they’re doing a live-action Powerpuff Girls, where Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup are all adult women that look back with regret on their old lives as superheroes.

How depressing can you possibly be?

The Powerpuff Girls hasn’t been reboot as many times as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but it’s getting to be up there. In addition to the poorly-received 2016 reboot, there has been an anime reboot that originated in Japan, called Demashita: Powerpuff Girls Z:

While the writing was pretty bad, it was still fun to watch, and the character designs weren’t bad. Few people seem to remember the show, which has much to do with the fact that its international release was limited.

In its various reboots, The Powerpuff Girls was intended to be little more than pure stupid fun. If you’re the kind of person who attempts to justify entertainment with its educational value, you weren’t likely to enjoy it (or anything else). There was no edge to it, nor was there depth.

Because of this, a live-action reboot taking place in a future time when the three girls look back on their heroism with regret seems like the worst thing they could do with the series.

Considering this, it got me to thinking. If The CN is up for some depression-porn, is a live-action reboot of grown-up Powerpuff Girls the best way to go about it? What if someone thought of something more depressing?

Then, I got an idea. Here it is: a live-action show about three washed-up feminists in their thirties, called The Sadderpuff Girls!

The one in red is a professional victim who, after spending the prime of her life pursuing her career and threatening discrimination lawsuits to advance, suddenly finds herself desiring to finally settle down and start a family of her own! But she must fight an uphill battle with her own natural hypergamy as she finds that most men haven’t advanced as far in their careers as her! Will she compromise and become a cougar for a younger man? Will she score a knockout before the bell rings on her biological clock? Stay tuned!

The one in blue is an aging THOT who, after a decade of being a cam whore, notices as her view-counts drop by reason of her aging body. The show can follow her zany adventures as she attempts to find a new source of income, in spite of her online reputation, lack of skills, and that huge, massive, gaping hole in her resume! Or, failing that, she can try to find a man to care for her, directly competing with countless twenty-somethings with too much self-respect to pander to simps!

The one in green is a stereotypical butch feminist who, after years of being conditioned by her ideology into assuming the worst in other people, must pick up the scraps of her tattered life in spite of a damaged ability to form interpersonal relationships! Will she recognize her assumptions about other people for the projections that they are, or will she revert to activism in an effort to change everyone but herself? Oh, the suspense!

Antagonists? The Sadderpuff Girls don’t need any antagonists! The Sadderpuff Girls are their own worst enemies!

Is my show idea depressing enough for you? I aim to please.