I hate white chocolate.

As I see it, white chocolate isn’t even real chocolate. To make it, the cocoa powder is removed and replaced with milk solids. It’s about the same as making chocolate, except what makes it real chocolate is taken out. In spite of this, it’s still called “chocolate” on its packaging. It seems so much like a waste product that’s marketed to the public in an effort to cut the costs associated with simply discarding it.

White chocolate tastes like chalk mixed with milk. It’s like chalk was blended together with milk and some cocoa butter, and sold as white chocolate. Don’t think that sounds very appetizing? Me neither.

I started hating white chocolate since I was a kid. I remember going to an event where chocolate was given out to children. Like many kids, I didn’t turn down an opportunity to get some chocolate without having to earn it. While most of the kids were getting real chocolate, I was one of the few that got white chocolate, instead. It looked off to me, but I tried it. When I did, that sealed the deal. From then on, I hated white chocolate.

I remember there being a television sitcom in which someone went on about how she liked white chocolate. I can’t remember which sitcom it was, and I don’t care much for looking into it. I do remember that it was a show that I found annoying. The woman called white chocolate something like “the gold of chocolate”. She was wrong. Gold is desirable. White chocolate is not. The episode came off like an effort to market a product that wasn’t selling very well.

In spite of this, there was actually a chocolate bar that I liked even though it had white chocolate as one of its ingredients. It’s called Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme. It had little chocolate cookie bits in it. Why didn’t I hate it? Maybe because it was basically a chocolate bar. Cocoa powder was removed to make white chocolate, then later cookie bits were added which contained cocoa powder. Why did they remove the cocoa powder to begin with? A real chocolate bar with cookie bits would have been sweet. Maybe they were trying to find something creative do to with a surplus of white chocolate that’s not selling, and their idea was to add cocoa powder back into it. That’s actually pretty smart.

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme

How to get me to like white chocolate: by adding the cocoa powder back into it.

By itself, though, white chocolate is pretty miserable. I see more of a point to decaf coffee. At least it tastes like coffee, which is good for those who like the taste of coffee. But if I want caffeine, then I want caffeine. As I see it, anyone who attempts to pass decaf off as regular coffee is committing fraud.

1 thought on “I hate white chocolate.

  1. Pingback: I don’t like chicken wings much, either. | Magnetricity

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