This Was Actually The News: A few people care that Trump tapes his tie

As much as I wish that title was lying to you, yes, there are people out there that care that Donald Trump uses tape on his tie. And it actually made news headlines. This is the headline’s title:

“The Internet Is Freaking Out Over How Donald Trump Still Tapes His Tie Together”

One thing that hits me about that headline is how it tries to put words in your mouth and mine. When “the internet” is used in such a sense, it usually implies that it’s something that everyone is talking about, considering that just about everyone uses the internet. If the headline is to be believed (and it shouldn’t be), Facebook is bumping and message boards are aflame over the few inches of scotch tape on President Trump’s tie, as though no one has any more significant concern, such as whatever job they should be doing instead of goofing off on social media.

Also, it acknowledges that he “still” tapes his tie together, as though this were the latest episode of an ongoing drama that anybody gives a toilet brownie about.

The point of the tape is apparently to hold the narrow end of the tie in place so it doesn’t come out from behind the broad end, which would look kind of clumsy. I admit that I’ve had to cope with this. My preferred method is usually to tuck the narrow end behind the convenient tags behind the broad end. In the absence of those, I’ve tucked it into my shirt. I admit that I wouldn’t have thought to use tape, but I suppose that would work. Newsworthy?

No. Why does anyone care?

Long story short: because old media will take any opportunity to ridicule Trump, no matter how cheap the shot, they’ll do it, especially considering that they’re enabled by massive piles of George Soros money.

You’re probably thinking, “Raizen, why are you picking such low-hanging fruit? You had to have gotten this tripe off of Huffington Post or Don’t you know that those aren’t real news sources?” And you’d be right, they’re not. However, I didn’t find this story on either of them. Behold, the source:


That’s something to think about as you knock back those anti-depressants. You got to see the day that Time fell from relevance.

If you sincerely find that Trump tapes his tie of more significance than anything else he does, I don’t know what to say to you. Take a back seat, whatever ethnic group that Trump supposedly subjugates this week: Trump tapes his tie. Those are the jingling keys that are holding our attention.

Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to be someone from Kenya or Ukraine that checks American headlines to see what makes the news over here.

1 thought on “This Was Actually The News: A few people care that Trump tapes his tie

  1. Pingback: TWAT News: Time magazine delegates its job to social media | Magnetricity

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s