If you’re like me, daydreaming can take you to places with ninja ladies, Nintendo, and nachos aplenty. This is because the typical man knows what rocks.

What would a militant feminist daydream about? There’s a reason that no one asks them, and that’s because they aggressively beat us over the head with it, regardless of whether anyone cares to know about it.

They don’t have artistic merit among them, but the U.N. scraped up the best they could come up with to show us the feminist utopia. You pretty much already saw it above, but here it is again, submitted for your amused disbelief:

This locale, called Equiterra, threatens to unseat CWCville as Empress Regnant of deluded paracosms. It’s intended to showcase what an ideal society would look like in the eyes of an intersectional feminist.

It’s a huge, voluminous mountain of horse puckey, to the point that the prospect of making fun of it can take even a seasoned satirist aback. Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. So I’ll pick an arbitrary point and then proceed on whim. Equiterra doesn’t proceed with sensible rules, so I’m under less pressure to do the same.

One thing I notice about Equiterra is the educational presence. This seems positive, until you realize that most degrees are consumer products, and most of them are absolutely useless. Most college towns fuel their economies with the debt of students that move into town, so Equiterra isn’t likely independent, especially considering Equiterra’s relative lack of production. Even if the education were “free”, who would be taxed to make this education possible?

Also, I’m noticing an emphasis on STEM. If women want STEM degrees so bad, they should just go for it. I’m not kidding. The college I went to was so serious about getting women into STEM that they even offered them private dorm rooms, something that men weren’t guaranteed. Even the fringe benefit of being surrounded by all the men they could dream of doesn’t seem to persuade them into STEM.

I noticed a wedding ad, a daycare, and reproductive services. Because Equiterra has no apparent source of food, how are its residents procreating?

There’s a “Violence-Free Alley”, as though violence weren’t already illegal everywhere. …grumble…

I noticed Hindus and Muslims co-existing peacefully near the Inclusion Square, which brings to mind just how well these groups get along in places like India. I did take notice of the lone Jew planting a tree, showing that at least one Jew survived the attempt to bring Utopia about, this time around.

But notice any signs of Christianity? Me neither. That’s kinda unrealistic, considering that it’s the most popular religion on earth. I suppose all the talk about sin, reconciliation, Natural Law, and superordinate principle made the untalented artist uncomfortable. Kinda like Hitler.

There’s a centre for recycling toxic masculinity, somehow. It’s pretty far from the only element that suggests that men are the only ones that need behavioral modification. While men have a view of women as idyllic, the fact is, women amongst themselves can be highly toxic, and sometimes even vicious. Don’t question how I know.

Also, we can do away with the notion that men are the only sources of sexual aggression, because women are certainly capable of the same. Though I suppose that not all men have made the same observation.

Equiterra has a government building, and to no one’s surprise, it’s filled with people sitting around, accomplishing not-a-damn-thing. When you’ve already screwed over all the freedoms that people already had, what would they have left to do?

Quick, how many vehicles did you notice in all of Equiterra? The recycling truck? And that’s it? Exactly. The already-dark environmentalist dystopia gets even darker with the implication that there’s no easy way out.

Not pictured is the wall citizens are climbing to escape, because people prefer a world where they can eat steak and have sex.

As ridiculous as Equiterra is, I almost want to see someone attempt it, preferably avoiding the bloodshed and genocide that precedes most failing utopias. If the U.N. thinks a town like this is such a great idea, let’s see them fund it. It’s hard to imagine they would, as the financiers of such a project would likely anticipate the return on their investment in a completely non-productive society. There’d also be an awkward moment in which they’d have to explain why they are turning down the pitch, in such a way that doesn’t explicitly confess that their professed political ideology is woefully insufficient for building a successful organized society.

“So, you want a few schools, a laboratory, your own government, oodles of reproductive services, a male toxicity treatment plant, and let’s not forget a fashion boutique. I’m double-checking; are you sure you’re not interested in any agriculture? Okay then, how many unicorns can we put you down for?”

The investment banker we all envy.

Maybe if it has a feminist tinge, socialism will finally be accepted as the real thing when it’s attempted, and we can finally apply the book-end to one of history’s most miserably stupid ideas.