Win: Dunkin’ Donuts Begins Phasing Out Beyond Meat Sandwich

If you’re a fan of real food, you’ll agree with me that this is a win. Overpriced coffee vendor Dunkin’ Donuts has discontinued a Beyond Meat breakfast sandwich in all but 10 states.

If you’re a vegetarian, and you’ve done your research into the risks of the vegetarian diet, and aren’t smug about it or seek to impose your diet on anyone else, I’m not judgmental towards you.

But one thing I’ve noticed is that vegetarians tend to go crazy trying to eat something that they’re not. They miss hamburgers, which is why there is such a market for vegetarian hamburgers. Of course, they don’t want to be left out when there’s a cook-out, even when they get neurotic in insisting that their veggie patties aren’t grilled on the same surface as regular hamburgers. They then wonder why they are being excluded when they’re no longer invited to functions, when they made themselves more difficult to interact with.

Beyond Meat, along with Impossible meat, are the most sophisticated attempts to imitate life to date, using happy magical chemistry to make meat patties that pass for the real thing. But Beyond Meat is not the real thing, and I don’t accept it as such, for the same reason that if you mixed seltzer water with grape juice, I’m not going to accept it as champagne if I understand the fraud for what it is.

Lived experience can be imitated, but it can never be replaced. Which is why when a breakfast sandwich was imitated, it was only a matter of time before it was taken from the menu.

As much as I’d like to credit this development to the better judgement of people, on Sunday mornings, people line up at a Dunkin’ Donuts near here for overpriced donuts and coffee. The hypnotic effect of Dunkin’s marketing is such that the lines even extend well into the road, cars deep into a major highway. What is wrong with people?

In any case, the sandwich has eggs, so that flimsy sponge in particular doesn’t endear itself to vegans. Many vegetarians are going full-on vegan, which is easy to understand when you consider that most cults encourage embracing their extremes.

While it’s easy to feel bad for the few outliers that are going to miss this sandwich offering, it was easy to see coming when you consider that it was sharing a menu with a bunch of items that people would rather eat.

It was actually earlier this year in which Texans were driven to stockpiling meat products for fear of supplies running out, when Texas suffered from power outages when they found out that wind energy wasn’t reliable.

But as for imitation meat products, they didn’t bother.

Fake meat products such as Beyond Sausage are weird and gross. It’s as simple as that.


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