Author Archives: Raizen

Fan Trailer Shows What the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl Remakes Would Look Like With a Huge Boost in Quality

When the trailer dropped for the upcoming Pokémon remakes, Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, just about everyone was underwhelmed.

(blank stare)

The Pokémon fandom is pretty awesome, and one among them decided to produce a fan trailer for the upcoming D&P remakes. The result looks like what one might expect from the single highest-grossing intellectual property of all time, if produced by a company so rich that they don’t need to turn to a bank to finance their own projects:

The trailer looks like it’s for a video game that would be worth $60. That’s pretty impressive, considering that it was made within days of the official trailer.

Isn’t it something special that one fan could pull off in days what a team of professional game developers with years of experience did not?

In fact, it makes one wonder why the professionals didn’t even bother. In light of this, I’ve come up with a theory: What if the official trailer for Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl is actually showing us Cyrus’ world?

Cyrus (pictured above) is the antagonist of the original Sinnoh games. His ambition was to reshape the universe to eliminate concepts like human emotion, which he viewed to be flawed and incomplete.

In Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, Giovanni formed a group called Team Rainbow Rocket, which was composed of leaders from other teams which were taken from grimdark parallel universes where those team leaders actually succeeded.

If the official trailer for Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl showed us what the world would look like if Cyrus succeeded, it would go a long way in explaining why the humans in that interpretation of the Sinnoh games look so unimaginative and unexpressive.

(blank stare)

Somewhere out there, someone let their save file for Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, or Platinum sit for like ten years, without beating Team Galactic. Therefore, Cyrus seized the opportunity to bring his vision of a world of Nendoroids to life.

That’s why you beat your video games, kids.

(halp)

CBS News, Do You See What I See?

As much as I’ve made fun of legacy media, sometimes they publish something that catches my notice, by reason of the fact that it lets on that they really know what’s going on. And in this case, it signals a potential shift in the narrative.

If you were to read the story, you might see it, too. I encourage you to do so. It’s a piece where they acknowledge that there is a pending crisis due to declining birth rates.

Isn’t it interesting how it’s not until after leftists have taken control of nearly every aspect of elected government, in addition to all the institutions they’ve previously infiltrated, that they finally figure this out?

This development is an about-face for the “depopulation movement” (as we’ll colloquially refer to it in this discussion), who in decades past had the idea that there was getting to be too many human beings for this ball of molten rock’s ability to support.

They were so persuaded of this idea that some of them have produced what is referred to as the “Jaffe memo”, which I previously examined here (I found the Jaffe memo here). The memo was produced in 1969 and presented numerous underhanded ways the depopulation movement could surreptitiously reshape society in an effort to slow population growth.

See for yourself:

Obviously, there’s no ethical way to subvert the family plans of millions of people. But for a moment, let it sink in that they actually entertained the idea of “Fertility control agents in water supply”. The 60s had some truly evil people.

Extrapolating from the ideas behind this memo, it’s easy to see why there was as much strength as there has been behind the various movements that actively tampered with the gender dynamic. These very same evil people have infiltrated society on just about every level, and they’ve been hard at work.

Knowing this, consider what it means that legacy media, one of the many, many infiltrated institutions, are acknowledging that birth rates are getting to be way too low, to the point of nearing crisis levels.

Intersectional feminism was one of the many movements that have been propped up, due to the potential damage it could do to the gender dynamic. The same could be said of the LGBTBBQ-silent-f community, and if you don’t also see it, you might be among the many victimized by the narrative, in some way.

The thinking behind propping up gender-aberration was the potential for reducing the replacement rate. But now, there’s a different problem: the replacement rate is getting to be too low. Now that the controllers of the narrative are acknowledging as much, that’s bad news for the various iterations of the gender-aberration movement.

Here is why: Because birth rates have already fallen well below the point of the depopulation movement’s liking, they no longer have a use for the various gender-aberration movements. In fact, those behind the scenes are now taking an interest in reversing the damage that these movements have already caused.

That’s pretty bad news for the gender-aberration movements themselves, considering that they’re about to lose the backing of the various institutions that have previously propped them up. Because they’re now expressing an interest in restoring the population replacement rate, they’d likewise want to prop up what has long been proven to result in a healthy replacement rate: strong masculinity, supportive femininity, traditional family, classical virtues, and a values-based society that focuses on building up each individual, rather than sacrificing individuals to feed the collective.

Sound like wishful thinking? Considering that legacy media is now acknowledging what’s happening, it doesn’t seem terribly unrealistic. When you consider just how much it takes to get legacy media to acknowledge what’s obvious to the rest of us, you can appreciate that this development was a long time coming.

Now the question is, how will those who have been tampering with society pay us all back for the damage that they’ve been causing?

I’m sure that the various victims of cancel culture, as well as everyone who has had relationships wrecked by feminism’s ideas, can think of a long list of demands. But I doubt that Bill Gates and his empire of fake meat will have the means to satisfy them all.

The CBS article made the following observation, and it’s a fun one for the many millennials out there that have been putting up with boomer-bullshit all these years:

“The cost of housing, the cost of education, all these things have become more and more difficult,” Dowell said. “I think the boomers themselves don’t realize how much harder it is for millennials today. And they think, ‘Oh yeah, when we were young we had to live, you know, on very little money, and we made do, and you can do the same.’ That’s the story, right? Well no, it really is a lot harder for young people today. It’s amazing how much harder it is.”

Even though they fancy themselves such great problem-solvers, boomers made fun of millennials with problems for having problems. Now they are paying for their arrogance by not having enough millennials around to pay for their retirement.

“Anyone can make an error, Ensign. But that error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.”

Grand Admiral Thrawn

Why do a live-action reboot of The Powerpuff Girls when you could do a show about aging feminists?

Photo from Variety

I wish I was kidding, but they’re doing a live-action Powerpuff Girls, where Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup are all adult women that look back with regret on their old lives as superheroes.

How depressing can you possibly be?

The Powerpuff Girls hasn’t been reboot as many times as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but it’s getting to be up there. In addition to the poorly-received 2016 reboot, there has been an anime reboot that originated in Japan, called Demashita: Powerpuff Girls Z:

While the writing was pretty bad, it was still fun to watch, and the character designs weren’t bad. Few people seem to remember the show, which has much to do with the fact that its international release was limited.

In its various reboots, The Powerpuff Girls was intended to be little more than pure stupid fun. If you’re the kind of person who attempts to justify entertainment with its educational value, you weren’t likely to enjoy it (or anything else). There was no edge to it, nor was there depth.

Because of this, a live-action reboot taking place in a future time when the three girls look back on their heroism with regret seems like the worst thing they could do with the series.

Considering this, it got me to thinking. If The CN is up for some depression-porn, is a live-action reboot of grown-up Powerpuff Girls the best way to go about it? What if someone thought of something more depressing?

Then, I got an idea. Here it is: a live-action show about three washed-up feminists in their thirties, called The Sadderpuff Girls!

The one in red is a professional victim who, after spending the prime of her life pursuing her career and threatening discrimination lawsuits to advance, suddenly finds herself desiring to finally settle down and start a family of her own! But she must fight an uphill battle with her own natural hypergamy as she finds that most men haven’t advanced as far in their careers as her! Will she compromise and become a cougar for a younger man? Will she score a knockout before the bell rings on her biological clock? Stay tuned!

The one in blue is an aging THOT who, after a decade of being a cam whore, notices as her view-counts drop by reason of her aging body. The show can follow her zany adventures as she attempts to find a new source of income, in spite of her online reputation, lack of skills, and that huge, massive, gaping hole in her resume! Or, failing that, she can try to find a man to care for her, directly competing with countless twenty-somethings with too much self-respect to pander to simps!

The one in green is a stereotypical butch feminist who, after years of being conditioned by her ideology into assuming the worst in other people, must pick up the scraps of her tattered life in spite of a damaged ability to form interpersonal relationships! Will she recognize her assumptions about other people for the projections that they are, or will she revert to activism in an effort to change everyone but herself? Oh, the suspense!

Antagonists? The Sadderpuff Girls don’t need any antagonists! The Sadderpuff Girls are their own worst enemies!

Is my show idea depressing enough for you? I aim to please.

They’re Making Lola Bunny Less Attractive, and This Was Supposed to Benefit Women, Somehow.

Hold on, what is this? I heard that Lola Bunny is getting a redesign, but that’s just gross. Is that piccie above really of Lola Bunny? She looks like some kind of freaky space-alien-looking-thing.

But that’s not the main thing about her that I’m hearing about. But before this post continues, here’s a short disclaimer:

WARNING: If you’re disturbed by mild sexualization of a cartoon character, you should probably get over yourself.

Now that that’s out of the way, apparently, Lola Bunny was given a breast reduction in an effort to make her less sexually appealing.

In the special way that Slate sees matters, “conservatives want you to be mad that Lola Bunny’s not hot anymore”. This lulzy position overlooks the greater problem that this is what feminism has done to women throughout the western world.

As depicted above, Lola otherwise still has highly feminine characteristics, including diminutive upper-body strength, narrow shoulders, softer eyes, broader hips, and so on. Those hips are quite well-defined, by the way. Those would be what’s referred to as “birther hips”, which are considered strongly appealing by, you know, men. Lola’s otherwise over-the-top feminine appearance makes her breasts all-the-more conspicuous in their absence.

As I see it, the designers of Lola’s character could design her as they wish for what they perceive as the creative benefit of the work that features her. Put another way, if it’s your character, you can design her however you want.

However, if it was the designer’s intention to distract from her sexuality, they’ve likely figured out by now how difficult that can be. In many ways, it couldn’t really be helped by virtue of the fact that sexuality is something that occurs in the mind. An artist can’t really control whether anyone could perceive a work in a sexual manner.

If an artist wanted to make something that was impossible to perceive with an element of sexuality, that in itself would be pretty-much impossible. Humans can perceive a sexual element, even in things that wouldn’t seem intrinsically sexual. Like pizza, which is a food item. I don’t get it, but it’s something that some people find sexual.

What’s more, sexuality is an intrinsic element of humanity. It might even be that sexuality is the most human of traits. The moment that something is humanized (such as, for example, when anthromorphizing a cartoon rabbit), it gains a sexual identity. The only time when it’s acceptable to not consider a sexual identity is when it’s not known, such as when the sex of an unborn child is not yet identified. But once it’s sex is known, it’s not acceptable to call the child an “it” again.

When you draw a cartoon character of your own, and call it a “her”, you’re acknowledging the existence of her vagina, provided that the character is a human female that is anatomically consistent with other human females. It is then assumed that this characteristic plays a role, even if slight, among other characters that they interact with (except in some cases when it is established that the character plays a non-traditional societal role).

If you think I just stated a lot of highly obvious stuff, you’re well enough off to not have to be told as much. But not everyone out there is as well off. Particularly, the radical intersectional feminists who mistakenly view sexualization as a form of objectification. But the fact that they’re wrong isn’t stopping them from passionately trying to become authoritarian moral busybodies.

Intersectional feminists, being absolutely tone-deaf, misses the irony of the fact that, on International Women’s Day, the design change of a cartoon rabbit that isn’t real, and therefore cannot be an actual victim, makes the news by becoming less feminine. While this is occurring, women in the middle-east have almost no rights to speak of compared to men, and are legally kept in harems as sexual slaves.

Priorities, much?

As one might imagine, the furry community is furious about this news. They’ve become yet another western creative community that has become negatively impacted by intersectionalism’s obsession with making everything it touches less entertaining. They’re a sorta-dubious addition to the club, but they’re an addition to the club, non-the-less.

You know whose cartoon bunnies remain unaffected by western censorship? Anime.

Today has shown us yet more reason why more and more westerners are turning towards Japanese manga and anime. One can really hand it to the Japanese for making sure that entertainment is still entertaining.

If you’re siding with intersectional feminism and have managed to stick around this far, please stand by for a send-off from Akira Kogami:

When western entertainment fails hard, along comes anime to sweep up yet more viewers. How long will it take for Hollywood et al. to figure out the obvious? I don’t know, but there’s a continual flow of new anime to watch in the time it takes for it to happen.

ILCA, the Developers of the Upcoming Pokémon D&P Remakes, Made a Miku AR App

You may have already heard of ILCA, the company collaborating with GameFreak to make the upcoming Pokémon remakes, Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl. The artistic direction of these games, still in development, has gotten to be rather controversial in the Pokémon community.

Understandably.

You may have already been aware that the company was involved with some big-name games, such as Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, and Dragon Quest XI.

But what you might not be aware of is that ILCA is the company behind an AR (Augmented Reality) app that was part of a collab between Hatsune Miku and Domino’s Pizza in Japan.

If you’ve never heard of Hatsune Miku, welcome to current year, things must have been pretty dull beneath that rock. But if the name is unfamiliar, there’s a strong likelihood you’ll have at least seen the character herself in the back of Suncoast or wherever. She looks like this:

As part of the promotion, Domino’s Pizza produced a special pizza box in Japan. This box, when scanned by the app, would reveal a 3D model of Miku, who would then proceed to sing and dance.

Miku is no stranger to Pokémon, as she had previously been involved in a collab with the media franchise, as shown in the following promotional material:

Here’s the advert of the Domino’s promotion, as presented by none other than the president of Domino’s, himself. I don’t suggest skipping over this one if you haven’t watched it already, as it’s one of the most hilarious and cringe-inducing things out there:

You know what? That app is a marvel of technology. Now that I’ve seen what ILCA can do, I think they deserve a chance with the D&P remakes.

It’s clear that these guys are brilliant.

Do the Upcoming Pokémon D&P Remakes Spoil a Future Nendoroid Line?

Considering that our freedoms are being screwed over along with whatever solutions that could make things any better, I’ve been dwelling on the graphical style of the upcoming Pokémon remakes quite a bit.

But after a while, I came to notice that the overworld models in Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl look kinda reminiscent of something: Nendoroids.

If you’re wondering what a Nendoroid is, it’s a figurine line that originated in Japan. It’s basically like Funcopops, except Nendoroids make Funcopops look like smoldering crap. They are massively more expressive, and usually come with accessories like faceplates and exchangeable limbs for posing.

Here’s an example:

There are already Nendoroid figures of Pokémon trainers, such as this familiar character:

Even the champion from Diamond and Pearl, Cynthia, has been featured:

Could it be that the upcoming D&P remakes are providing strong hints of an upcoming line of Nendoroids? If so, perhaps ILCA are brilliant marketers, after all.

GameFreak must be well aware that most of the revenue that the Pokémon IP generates comes from merchandise. By making a game’s characters look like the merchandise, the interesting aspects of the franchise are being integrated in an intelligent way.

What a brilliant move.

The Pokémon DP Remake Art Style Needs to Improve

When I first saw the art style for the upcoming Pokémon games, Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, I was warm to it. But since then, the artistic direction hasn’t been sitting well with me.

If you’re wondering what I mean, check out the character model in this picture:

I think that would look awesome on a keychain (Etsy artists, you’re probably well ahead of me). But for a core Pokémon title released in the year 2021? It kinda seems like the Nintendo Switch isn’t being pushed to its limits.

I know that GameFreak could do better. But this time, it wasn’t them. The company has delegated work on the D&P remakes to ILCA, which is short for I Love Computer Art.

Among their accomplishments include Metal Gear Rising: Revengence:

Yakuza 0:

Dragon Quest XI:

NieR: Sutomata:

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown:

And now Pokémon: Brilliant Chibi and Shining Smol:

They may “love computer art”, but it’s plain to see when they’re not putting their hearts into it. Unless you can look at this battle scene and really think this is current gen:

So, who gets the blame: GameFreak or ILCA?

The answer is both. Whether it’s GameFreak for delegating work on their most beloved IP or ILCA for not taking it seriously, both are at fault for apparently not caring much, in spite of the fact that the games in question are ones that gamers have wanted to see for years.

Looking at the art for the D&P remakes, it’s obvious what little more could be done to make the games presentable: outlines and cel shading. And Pokémon fans are well ahead of the game in providing examples:

Just the outlines alone would do it. But check out what cel shading could do for, you know, an anime-style game:

And as if that weren’t enough, here’s more simple outlining at work:

Oh, hold on… That screen was from a Pokémon game released back in 2013. My mistake.

Still, they’re excellent examples of what you can do when you actually love computer art.

On top of the lazy look, there’s the fact that the remakes are made out to be faithful to the originals. Depending on how true that is, there might not be much point to them. After all, we already have the original Diamond and Pearl games. Other Pokémon remakes justified their existences with the presence of additional content, and it would be sensible if the D&P remakes did the same.

Comparisons have already been made between the D&P remakes and the recent Link’s Awakening remake for Switch. While a nostalgia trip could potentially justify that game’s purchase, the original is already available to play on 3DS. There didn’t seem like there was much new to it to justify the $60 tag when money was tight, so I didn’t purchase it.

That brings up a question that’s likely making more than a few Pokémon hardcores a bit uncomfortable: “Do I really need either of the upcoming Diamond or Pearl remakes as part of the core experience?”

This isn’t just a spin-off we’re talking about here, it’s a core installment for the single highest-grossing intellectual property of all time. If GameFreak wanted to, they could produce a polygon-pusher of immense scale. It’s hard to imagine that budget would be a limiting factor, especially considering that they work with Nintendo, a company that’s so rich that they could finance their own projects without turning to a lender.

But instead, they outsource their big game to a different company, and accept their half-baked effort to present to the world as part of their big presentation. Those don’t seem like the actions of a company that strongly cares.

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about Pokémon Legends: Arceus. That’s evidence that GameFreak is capable of making a great-looking game. It’s obvious that that’s the one that GameFreak was more passionate about.

Whether it’s GameFreak or ILCA, it’s obvious that they can do better.

The New York Times Asks Why Japanese Animators Are Underpaid

The famed Akihabara area in Tokyo, Japan is famous for manga and anime. Picture credit: Kanpai-Japan.com

Ealier this month, I pointed out that Americans wouldn’t likely take interest in becoming animators in Japan, seeing as how they get paid very little. Since then, the New York Times has published an article examining the difficult life of Japanese animators.

As the article points out, animators in Japan can make as little as $200 per month drawing up anime frames, which obviously is far beneath what one can realistically expect to pay for an apartment in urban Japan.

Not that many of them even bother renting an apartment, as many studios allow their workers to sleep at their desks after working shifts as long as 16 hours. If you think that sounds insane, then you apparently don’t have a Japanese animator’s tenacity.

You might wonder just why a Japanese man would accept such conditions. There’s a few, so let’s go over them.

For one thing, the anime market is flooded with young men who have long dreamed of making an anime of their own, and would happily accept working long hours for little pay, for a chance to make it happen. When many employees are willing to accept extreme conditions for the few jobs they want, there’s a lot less pressure on the industry to provide work environments that are much better than what they’re willing to settle for.

Here’s a sweet anime GIF to take the edge off. It gets harder from here.

Another point to consider is the principle of supply vs. demand. I know that there may be a lot of poorly-paid service industry employees out there that might not like hearing it, but if anyone could do what you do for a living, to the point that people could be easily taken from the street to do your job, there’s not much expectation of making a lot more than minimum wage to do it.

What does this have to do with Japanese animators? While it may be hard work, the fact is, it’s low-qualification work. And it’s easy to find many, many young people in Japan who are willing to do it. And it so happens that many people in Japan are willing to settle for less money.

For the employer, if someone could do the same job as someone else, but for less money, to hire the one that asks for less money would be a more practical choice. In some cases, the stakes are high, as many smaller animation studios in Japan make this choice because their budgets aren’t that great.

One might point out that if a person works long hours, day after day, with little rest in between, a person could easily wind up in the hospital. This happens frequently in Japan. In fact, the Japanese consider it a badge of honor. When a person works so hard that they end up at the hospital out of sheer exhaustion, the Japanese consider it a sign of just how dedicated that worker is.

So, do I have a solution to this problem? Not really. When so many young people are so eager to get involved in anime that they’re willing to accept the difficult life that comes with producing it, it’s hard to discourage them. What they produce makes people happy, they know it, and they are willing to put the work in to make that happen.

In time, however, they may come to more strongly want a house, a car, and to start their own family. When it comes to that point, a person may come to realize that throwing themselves at burnout for a pitiful amount of money doesn’t seem like it’s bringing them to their goals.

Here’s another kawaii booster. Hang in there.

While life is somewhat easier for a mangaka (Japanese comic artist), the fact is, producing Japanese manga comes with challenges of its own. I’ve heard stories about mangaka who worked a month just to produce what they pitch to a publisher, and if the publisher accepted, they usually wanted a comparable amount of content on a weekly basis. The author of Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto, has gotten so tired from his art that he actually hired someone to help him with it.

So no, taking the manga route doesn’t guarantee an easy life.

But then, the makers of video games have it difficult, too. The fact is, most outlets that produce entertainment in Japan aren’t held in as high regard in Japan as we might imagine.

The Japanese have a culture that’s so career-oriented, and they value hard work so much, that anything that comes with the risk of being called frivolous (such as entertainment) has a high likelihood of being underrepresented in the culture. While people in the west identify themselves with their favorite movies and shows, the Japanese are hesitant to bring it up at all, due to the perception that if anyone consumes any amount of entertainment media, they’re likely fanatical about it to the point that they allow it to consume their life.

While an American who works at Pixar might proudly tell their family about it, those who watch anime in Japan usually just keeps it to themselves.

Considering this, one might think that the animation industry in America hires on teams of animators that are paid a decent living wage. There might be some that do, but largely, if an American media company wants something animated, they’d just send their storyboard to Asia, where they can get the animation done cheap.

I doubt that you’re surprised.

Considering all this, it’s important to remember that the reason why so many Japanese people accept the difficult conditions associated with the Japanese entertainment industry is because they decide to. They’re not compelled to do it, and those who make manga, anime, and video games generally enjoy doing so.

With how challenging it is for them, it’s hard to imagine that they don’t.

Thanks for hanging in there.

The Right Way to Play Pokemon Diamond and Pearl

This guide is intended to help decide the best pokemon you could choose for a playthrough of Pokemon Diamond or Pearl.

This isn’t like a speedrun, which takes advantage of exploits, nor is it a competitive team-building guide. This guide’s team is intended to be the best selection of pokemon that players can reasonably be asked to assemble to get them though the game with a reasonable playtime, and with little to no grinding for levels.

Many players have attempted guides like this, but usually make mistakes like including competitive builds, which aren’t reasonable for simple playthroughs, or they forget to include HM users, leaving anyone who attempts them to backtrack and find for themselves the pokemon that can get them past roadblocks.

A word of advice, before continuing: Pokémon Diamond and Pearl have caves in them, including Mt. Coronet. These places are pretty cool, but not everyone likes them because it’s in caves that wild Pokémon could interrupt your progress every few steps. Here is what you can do about that:

Buy Repels, and Super Repels. When you enter a cave, activate one. If your lead Pokémon is higher in level than wild Pokémon in that area, they won’t interrupt your progress until you’ve traveled the distance it takes for the Repel to wear off. Repels are cheap, so don’t be afraid to spend a little bit on them to save you some aggravation.

With that explained, on to the team selections:

Any of the three Sinnoh starters are a great choice, and picking between one to compliment this team was hard. But the nod goes to Turtwig, which eventually evolves to Torterra. Torterra takes care of the Ground types that can give this team trouble, particularly Bertha’s Quagsire and Whiscash, which are only weak to Grass. Torterra does great against the first and last gym, but is especially notable in that it’s the only fully-evolved Sinnoh starter that isn’t weak to anything Cynthia’s Garchomp can do.

There’s a couple catches, and that’s that Torterra doesn’t handle Ice, Flying, or Fire-types very well. Worse, these are often fast enough to score the first hit on it. If this is enough for you to consider another starter, none of the other two are a bad choice. Just know that fully-evolved forms of the other two might result in Ground types giving this team problems.

Starly becomes an excellent attacker, and it’s available on Route 202. The first time it evolves at level 14, it gains the super-useful Intimidate ability. If you let it evolve at level 34, it gets the opportunity to learn Close Combat, and it gets great Flying moves throughout its moveset, including Brave Bird at level 49. Even better yet, it gets great Speed and Attack stats, with which to use those attacks.

Staraptor works surprisingly well against Candice, the Ice gym leader, because of the secondary typing of her pokemon. But because Staraptor is weak to Ice, it’s a risky play.

Besides its attack moves, Staraptor has room for a couple HMs, namely, Fly and Defog.

You can also catch Shinx on Route 202. You’ll want one with the Intimidate ability. You’ll know that it has it because it will activate as soon as it appears. Having two pokemon with Intimidate is great, because it makes it so it’s hard for the many physical attackers you’ll encounter to do anything to your pokemon.

Shinx evolves to Luxio at level 15, and again to Luxray at level 30. It’s a powerful physical attacker that gets strong Electric and Dark moves, giving you an answer to Crasher Wake and Lucian.

Bidoof is also available on Route 202. It’s not going to be a battler for your team, it’s instead there to give you mobility with the HMs it learns, keeping moves free for your primary battlers. The HM moves that Bidoof learns are Cut and Rock Smash.

Bibarel is available later on, at Route 208. Its purpose on your team is similar to Bidoof, except Bibarel can learn four HMs that Bidoof can’t, which are Surf, Strength, Waterfall, and Rock Climb.

You meet one of the two cover legendaries as part of a scripted event, and they are Dialga (Diamond Version) or Palkia (Pearl Version). You encounter one of these two on the summit of Mt. Coronet, late in the game. The catch rate is low, so you might want to save the game before attempting to battle it (Palkia, being a Water type, is easier to catch in a Net Ball than an Ultra Ball). They may be a few levels behind your team’s battlers, but leveling them up isn’t much trouble, and their stats, typing, and movepool more than make up for it.

Dialga’s typing lends it many resistances, and it’s only weak to Fighting and Ground. The idea of a move that requires recharging might not sound appealing, until you consider that Roar of Time comes off Dialga’s super-high Sp.Atk stat!

Palkia’s typing means it’s not weak to any type in particular, except to Dragon (remember that in the DP days, Fairy wasn’t a type yet). Palkia’s signature Spacial Rend is very spammable, but strong Water type moves aren’t a bad thing to have!

Once you have the Beacon Badge, you’ll be able to find the Adamant Orb and Lustrous Orb in a room in Mt. Coronet, with the help of a pokemon with Waterfall. Waterfall can be obtained from Jasmine in Sunyshore City after beating Volkner. By the way, is something going on between those two?

How to beat Cynthia’s Garchomp

Cynthia is considered by many to be the hardest champion in any Pokemon game (though Iris seems to be a handful). Cynthia has a diverse team of top tier pokemon, among the most problematic of which are her lead pokemon, Spiritomb, which doesn’t have a weakness (pre-Fairy type), and Milotic, which can use Mirror Coat to retaliate double for Special attacks.

But the hardest pokemon on her team, by far, is Garchomp. This has left many players scrambling to add a fast, hard-hitting Ice type to their teams.

Except you don’t really have to, because of what this team can do.

When Cynthia sends out Garchomp, shift to Luxray (if your battle style is set to Shift, which it should be). “But, Luxray is weak to Garchomp, so why?” you might be asking. This seems crazy, but it’s actually not. When Luxray is sent out, Intimidate activates, lowering Garchomp’s Attack stat. Garchomp is a physical attacker, so this makes the battle much easier. Then, switch Luxray out for Staraptor immediately. Staraptor’s Intimidate goes off as well, and if Garchomp is (predictably) going for Earthquake, it wouldn’t work on Staraptor.

The idea is to swap between Luxray and Staraptor for as long as you can get away with it, or until Intimidate has activated 6 times, bottoming out Garchomp’s Attack stat. At that point, there won’t be much that Garchomp could do to you. Go after Garchomp with strong attacks, and if things go well, that should finish it. Then, you’ll have beaten a pokemon that’s been a nightmare for many, many trainers by being clever.

But what about…

There are a few pokemon that some might have wanted to see on this team, but for some reason, weren’t. Here are a few of them:

Piplup or Chimchar are both great starters. The choice between these was very close. For this team, the choice was made for Turtwig because it rounds this team out just a bit better.

Abra and/or Azelf are both hard hitting and fast Psychic types, but it’s not a great defensive typing, and becomes especially glaring considering their low defensive stats. What’s more, Abra needs trading to fully evolve, so if you go with Kadabra, eventually replacing it with Azelf might not be a bad choice.

Gible can be found at Wayward Cave, but in Diamond and Pearl, the area you find it in requires Strength to access. By the time you can get it, it’s somewhat late in the game for a pokemon at that low of a level.

So, what do you think? Can you think of some ways to improve this team? Are you thinking of trying it for yourself? Or are you looking for some team ideas for the upcoming remakes? If it turns out that a different team might work better for the remakes for some reason, I might make a separate guide for those.

Pokémon Legends: Arceus: First Impressions

I liked the Diamond and Pearl remake announcement. But I get the idea that Pokémon Legends: Arceus has Pokémon players really stoked.

I’m not even trying to avoid the obvious comparison: Pokémon Legends looks like Breath of the Wild. Not that that’s a bad thing.

Pokémon Legends takes place in a feudal Japanese setting (remember that Sinnoh is based on Hokkaido). The game shows a young boy or girl (your choice), likely in their teens, as they journey out with a starter Pokémon (Rowlett, Cyndaquil, or Oshawott), with no evident boundaries as far as travel goes.

The Wild Area in Sword and Shield were merely a taste, as there doesn’t seem to be any on-the-rails elements to Pokémon Legends, so far.

The movement of the protagonists seems to have leveled up, as the trailer shows a trainer diving into a roll. Pretty sweet!

Not only that, the trailer shows the main character stealth-catching a distant Pokémon while hidden in grass, like some kind of ninja. Awesome!

The mythical Pokémon Arceus is to be featured in the game somehow, though in what way remains to be seen.

Pokémon Legends looks great, but there is a catch: you have to wait for it. The game is scheduled to be released in 2022. Before then, we’ll have those Sinnoh remakes we’ve been waiting a long time for.

I wonder whether those are Lucas’ and Dawn’s ancestors.