Category Archives: Humor

German Shepherd Arranges Sheep In Shape of Syringe to Prove Something

Remember when a bunch of FakeBook users changed their profile photos in an effort to fight cancer, misogyny, and child abuse, but mostly just to prove that they’re herd animals? (Pepperidge Farm remembers!)

To continue the ongoing theme of expressing support through worthless gestures, a German farmer decided to arrange his sheep in the shape of a syringe in an effort to encourage taking the Covid-19 vaccine, or something.

If there’s anyone who can identify with having a bunch of sheep listening to them, it’s the governments of the world, who don’t need the help of some hick playing banjo in the woods. Threatening people’s jobs and freedoms has been plenty effective, just ask the people who want to see your papers before you’re allowed into a theatre to watch The Matrix.

The entire effort goes against the intended end when you consider the people that are bringing this up as yet another example of how the coof lockdowns made people’s brains break, and has turned the pro-vaxx crowd into a cult.

While the Greek Orthodox man arranges the pins in the shape of crosses at the grocery store bulletin board, the Branch Covidians would arrange their sheep in the shape of a syringe in what can be described as a fitting allegory for their government’s relationship with them.

Perhaps another farmer can make a point by taking a booster right in the rooster.

An Image to Describe 2021

Each year, this blog posts a picture which, in the eyes of myself, describes the year accurately, sometimes edited, and sometimes not. However sardonic it may be, I think we can all appreciate that humanity has made it as far as we have without reducing ourselves to irradiated primal components over things like economic strategy.

I think we all know that QAnon Shaman is going to take the honor this year. But before we get to that, let’s take a moment to appreciate just how zany this year has been. After all, this year wasn’t just crazy in a way like standing at a safe distance and laughing at the insane thing that some celebrity as done. This year’s craziness affected every single one of us in one way or another.

As we recap, know that I’m not even going to bother listing everything crazy about this year, as writing up such a list would take at least another year.

  • Thousands of protestors flooded the U.S. Capitol building, resulting in the people being represented therein for the first time in over a century.
  • After a nearly-two-decade military campaign, President Biden surrendered Afghanistan back to a bunch of hairy men who believe that pedophilia is normal, abandoning both equipment and American people in the process.
  • In the highly-publicized Rittenhouse trial, a jury helped millions of morons to come to the conclusion that if someone with an assault rifle is running from you, chasing him and attacking him is a bad idea.
  • Twitter banned a standing President of the United States from their platform, even though he didn’t do a damn thing wrong.
  • After months on end of the uniparty calling the lab-leak hypothesis a “conspiracy theory”, U.S. intelligence released a 2-page declassified report calling “laboratory-associated incident” a plausible source of Covid-19.
  • A huge container ship ran aground in the Suez Canal, disrupting trading for much of the world.
  • Anthony Fauci gives hope to the least of us as he demonstrates that a slow-witted, narcissistic ass-wipe can hold the highest-paid government office.
  • NASA launched its Double Asteroid Redirection Test to determine whether we are currently capable of protecting earth from an asteroid collision, showing that science can be used for something other than marketing useless garbage to gullible cretins.
  • The ultra-left are so obsessed with getting you vaccinated, that they threatened your job over it. Because nothing says that they want to protect you quite like threatening to turn you into a homeless drifter that eats garbage out of the gutters. Thankfully, the courts are succeeding so far in blocking that bullshit.

With all that said, here is the image that describes 2021, depicting the most honest man to stand at the house podium:

I don’t know about you, but I miss the days when conspiracy theorists were wrong about stuff, and mainly just went on about a flat earth and space aliens. But now that the left is so insistent that the idea that there are reptilians in government is a harmful and dangerous conspiracy theory, that gets me to thinking. Streisand Effect, and such.

Nostradamus was still a hack.

Misinformation Expert Develops Conspiracy Tier Chart to Help the Normies

As we all know, the left doesn’t trust us to think for ourselves, which is why we see so many self-appointed misinformation experts helping the political establishment to assist us on the way to their conclusions.

To this end, misinformation expert Abbie Richards has decided to make a conspiracy theory tier list, just like all those cool YouTubers who tier things like animals for viability:

Yes, I linked to the tweet that time. If you’re wondering why I sometimes post a screengrab instead, it’s on the chance that these kinds of posters develop a flash of self-awareness needed to comprehend this type of content as the cringe that it is, and they attempt to memory-hole it, in the hopes that the internet would ever forget.

For your benefit, here’s the full chart:

Part of what makes artistic expressions such as the above as fascinating as they are is because they reveal more about the artist than anybody else. It doesn’t take long browsing the chart to see where Abbie Richards stands in regards to various issues.

What’s fascinating is what she considers to be dangerous. While some of the above can be classified as harmful misinformation, nearly all of it, including the upper tiers, is mainly just the stuff of old men yelling at clouds, and disheveled men meandering about at parks and rambling semi-coherently because they forgot to take their meds.

But what’s especially deafening about the above chart is the conspiracy theories that the chart omits, such as the idea that Trump colluded with Russians to win the 2016 Presidential election, or that the January 6th Capitol protest was an organized attempt at an insurrection. What makes those conspiracy theories actually dangerous is that they are believed by legacy media pundits, political elites, and their corporate interests who peddle these same conspiracy theories as facts, in spite of the same being defeated by both thorough investigation and basic observation.

Also interesting is the use of the phrase “Antisemitic Point of No Return”, which implies that each of the conspiracy theories above it were intrinsically anti-Semitic, and that the chart maker is so vindictive that if you’ve considered any of them, then as far as she’s concerned you cannot be reconciled back to reality.

As you probably already know, the inventers of conspiracy theories usually ram-rod anti-Semitism into them because it’s practically a meme at this point. Any conspiracy theory can be made anti-Semitic with an arbitrary implication that Jews were somehow involved, which is often what happens with them. Considering how clever conspiracy theorists present Jews to be, it’s interesting that there aren’t more Synagogues around. One would think that with all that they supposedly have their hands in, Jews would have a greater ideological stranglehold on the world.

Okay, closing paragraph. On this blog, I make fun of the stupid things that people do. As you can imagine, the work of finding new material is not hard. So, thanks, Abbie Richards, for providing the low-hanging fruit.

Maddox’s Article on Swine Flu Aged Well.

Maddox’s online persona, not to be confused with a popular graphic depicting a racist communist sympathizer.

In the year 2009, web comedian Maddox published an article on swine flu. If that article were like piss in a bottle, that piss has aged, fermenting into a fine piss schnapps.

In case you’re having trouble remembering what swine flu was, it was a coronavirus that caused a mild cough, and that was about it. It was pretty much like Covid-19, except the political left didn’t go absolutely insane.

Maddox started his article by claiming that he deleted his mom’s number, because she called him worried about some sensationalist news story. While Maddox’s politics seem to be left-leaning today, what he went on to say was surprisingly red-pilled:

“If you’ve spent more than a few minutes worrying about swine flu, you are an idiot. That’s because it only takes a few minutes to look up the symptoms, mortality rate, and treatment to realize that it’s no different from the common flu (which kills way more people and by extension is way more awesome), and going back to whatever it is you were doing, which was probably turning off CNN and canceling your cable subscription.”

Maddox was early on the whole fake news dealie, and on comparing symptoms and fatality rates, and realizing that the virus in question isn’t worth letting world leaders carry out an economic suicide pact.

Maddox has his own idea on how to handle a pandemic of sniffles:

“Cowards worry and there is a 100% overlap between people who worry and people who regularly make cowardly decisions. That’s why natural disasters kick so much ass. You never really know when they’re going to hit, so you might as well let go and stop being such a scared pussy all the time. You’ll cross the bridge of death when you get to it. Time to start taking risks, asshole!”

What’s more, Maddox expressed a viewpoint that would have gotten him labeled as “anti-vax” today:

“I will never take the swine flu vaccine because I already have it; it’s called my immune system, and it’s badass.”

This has become even more awesome in light of the revelation that natural immunity is immensely superior to the Covid vax. The optics are stunning, and provide a window into the kind of thinking that was popular before the lockdowns driving up job losses and suicide rates drove everyone collectively insane.

Maddox also got into a short rant on how he believes that marriage is a sham institution, which makes him sound suspiciously MGTOW. If that’s something that you’ve never heard of, MGTOW is what happens when incels decide to give up, but then pretend that they’ve won. They then prattle on as though they’ve discovered some secret that makes them sound enlightened, even though their whole movement basically comes down to playing video games while waiting for death. What’s that secret? Apparently, it’s that if they can’t find a woman who’s willing to touch their genitals, they can just do it themselves. They’d be somewhat tolerable if they weren’t such obnoxious recruiters.

If you think Maddox’s points on swine flu would carry over to the coronavirus, it would seem like Maddox would, too. He republished the same article, striking out the term “swine flu” and replacing with with “coronavirus”.

When you look at how based Maddox once was, it’s almost a shame that he just about abandoned the website that made him popular, and went on to try to become yet another YouTuber. But as he is now, he’s another relic from the age of the internet angry man, trying to find his way in the age when everyone is looking over their shoulders.

Anthony Fauci is an Inferior Man.

Anthony Fauci literally just said that “There comes a time when you have to give up what you consider your individual right of making your own decision”.

I can guess what you’re thinking: “There’s no way. How can anyone be so out of touch with reality as to say something so devastatingly wrong?”

I don’t expect you to take my word for it, so I’m sharing video evidence. In it, Fauci tells us plebs that because we’ve been benefiting so well from society, we should give back by giving up our right to make choices for ourselves. Putting aside, of course, that society under Fauci and his other leftist corporate interests have attempted to shut us in our homes and are now pulling out the stops to threaten us into taking a vaccine that we don’t trust.

Here’s what stupid sounds like:

One of the many things that Fauci is ignorant of is the fact that the American republic was founded by better men than Anthony Fauci. What these men understood was that human rights were axiomatic tenets of reality that every human being has, as they penned in the following blurb from some old document that they might still teach about in schools:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The United States Declaration of Independence

Even if you don’t believe in a Creator, you should still understand individual rights to be a matter of superordinate principle, in a manner similar to natural law. Every human being has a right to security in their property, without it being stolen from them. Every human being has a right to their own sincerely-held religious beliefs, or any conviction they may have. They have a right to express their opinions, even if there are consequences for doing so. A person has a right to defend themselves. A person has a right to their silence, without it being taken as self-incrimination. Every person has a right to their own means of production.

In that these rights are unalienable, means that they exist by default, it is impossible for a person to voluntarily give them up, are not granted by human government, and if any government doesn’t recognize the existence of these rights, that government is wrong.

Continuing on, the Declaration of Independence has this to say:

“That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,”

No one can be governed unless they allow it. It doesn’t require a lengthy explanation, because it’s entirely self-explanatory. Anthony Fauci doesn’t govern me, because I refuse to be governed by inferior men.

The republic’s founders continue with language that puts those who would follow Fauci’s example on notice:

“That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

I know that some limp-wristed incel might latch onto the use of the word “Safety”, and twist it to mean something that it doesn’t. The fact is, safety implies bodily autonomy, including the freedom to turn down a vaccine that one does not trust.

When a government twists the concept of safety into a pretext to challenge the axiomatic freedoms, that government should be altered or removed. That’s some food for thought for the Democrat establishment, if they are at all interested in retaining their place in American government.

After all, in nature, as is the case in human society, and has been demonstrated throughout history, the followers don’t endure being abused by their leaders for very long.

There is an old proverb, and because it originated in China, I suspect that Fauci has heard of it. It goes like this:

“The emperor that burned all the books was overthrown by illiterate men.”

Cenk Uygur, Get Over Yourself

Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks is no stranger to drama. He is the most prominent mouthpiece of a leftist YouTube program that named itself for the guilty party behind the Armenian Genocide, an event that Cenk denies ever occurred.

Since his program has gone full-on corporate, Cenk himself is pretty much in golden handcuffs, and has since gone increasingly unhinged, snapping at other commentators such as Tim Pool and Alex Jones, who just wanted to talk to him.

Just days ago, MisterM proceeded to milk the drama cow on Twitter, daring Cenk to call Joe Rogan a “loser” to his face, enticing him with a $1000 donation to either his “trash network” or a charity of his choice.

A real grownup would have ignored the dare, but Cenk instead drew the line where he felt more comfortable.

Being the grown-up that he is, Cenk not only took the dare, he also escalated the rhetoric to imply physical violence, then made the claim to be able to “end” the trained fighter, in spite of his own lack of experience (and conditioning).

Natch, Cenk decided to accept the $1000 for himself, rather than to a charity.

While Cenk made the hilarious claim that he’d “end” Rogan in a fight, Cenk’s optimism isn’t backed up much in the realm of reality, putting aside the remote possibility that Cenk could benefit from either a freak accident or copious amounts of interference.

While there is no such thing as an MMA black belt, Joe Rogan does have a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and has become a Taekwondo Grand Champion, and apparently has kickboxing experience. He eventually became a UFC commentator.

As for Cenk, he made the claim to have been fighting for his whole life. If this was the case, his fighting experience is not publicly-available information. Cenk’s claim to be “larger”, comes off as an inappropriate boast in his lack of physical conditioning.

I honestly have no idea why fat people have as much confidence as they do in their bulk. They may be big, but they’re also soft, and simply moving about is a chore for them. An overweight person started a fight with me before, and he went to the floor quick.

If Cenk did get in a fight with Rogan, he’d likely just find out how fast-paced and callous that fights really are, and come out the other side of the experience more closely resembling a blueberry muffin. Of course, a professional UFC match is a more strategic affair, but Cenk’s historical inability to retain his cool would ensure that within the structure of an officiated match, Cenk’s likelihood of winning would only further decrease.

I get being macho, but I still think I’m being manly when I point out that if I were to get into a fight with Joe Rogan, I’d likely get my ass beat. There’s a lot that can be said about not letting your arrogance get the better of you.

Cenk has a lot of problems, but because he’s rich and famous (enough so that he should consider it low-brow to take dares for money), many of his problems are of the sort that people would rather have. Yet, he has more problems than he otherwise would if it weren’t for his egotism. Therefore, Cenk is among the many people who can quickly make the world a better place, at least for himself, if he were to take the simple advice: Get over yourself.

A Neighbor Started Listening to Rap, Loudly. Then, Something Awesome Happened.

If you’ve lived in apartments, you know when your neighbors have turgid taste in music. Because they’ll broadcast it for everyone to hear. Things have been quiet in my new neighborhood for a while, until some new neighbors moved in. And they brought their noisy lifestyle with them.

How noisy? Let’s just say that when the man and his wife got into an argument, you knew about it.

But then, they crossed a line. They started playing playing music in the evening. Not only that, it was the plumber’s butt-crack of all music. That’s right, it was rap.

But then, something awesome happened. The building decided that they weren’t going to just sit back and stifle vomit in the time it takes for either the new neighbors or themselves to move somewhere else. Instead, they did something about it.

They turned on their own music. And they turned it up.

I joined them, as you might imagine. I just loaded up a Touhou playlist on YouTube and enjoyed some music I’d rather listen to. Suddenly, it was like no one was playing rap.

Gone are the days in which a person has to be financially irresponsible to own a decent sound system, or even just a television set with decent speakers.

What Can You Do With $30,000?

What can you do if you had $30,000? Let’s get a list going:

  • Buy a brand new smart TV and still have over $29,000 remaining.
  • Live like I once did in central Pennsylvania for about 2 years.
  • Actually buy a new car. Like, new new. As in, it doesn’t smell like someone’s dog, or like someone cigarettes. The filters are new, the engine is well-oiled, you don’t have to look under the hood for a long time, and no one has driven the car before. That kind of new.
  • Pay off approximately one year of a college education.
  • Actually buy music.
  • Leave the store with 88,235 boxes of store-brand macaroni and cheese from WalMart, without stealing any of it.
  • Or splurge on 30,612 boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese, the gold bling of macaroni and yellow powder.
  • Go to GameStop and buy something like 471 new games (this list may intermittently consider sales tax), and watch how many opened games are inserted into cases before your eyes.
  • Go to the liquor store and purchase about 1765 bottles of the most important foundational ingredient of a Jager bomb.
  • Buy 1000 of them fancy Yankee Candles. Then tell your mom. She’ll be so proud that she won’t even be able to sleep that night.
  • Assemble about 20 gaming rigs.
  • Illegal stuff.
  • Pay off the rent on a cheap-o one-bedroom apartment for about 3.5 years.
  • About 368 of those blue tablets that are famous for increasing circulation in males.
  • Buy the line of Apple products, five times.
  • You’ll have enough money to drink Kool-Aid ironically.
  • Buy about 2400 MREs, becoming the most disaster-prepared homie on the block.
  • Buy about 7518 packs of Pokémon cards, becoming the coolest 10-year-old on the block.
  • Invest in crypto, then watch the boomers who are dead-set against crypto freak out.
  • You’d have a lot of manga to read. Like, about 3440 chapters on BookWalker. And depending on promotions, you could probably get piles more.
  • Buy a ticket to the event to which AOC wore her now-infamous “Tax the Rich” dress.

Webcomic Review: Robot Hugs

Warning: The reviewed webcomic contains explicit content. Reader discretion is advised.

robot hugs rough

Have you ever hoped that depression had an official webcomic? Me neither. But there is one that stands out as being sadder than the rest. And by “stands out”, I mean “slumps down in quivering half-hearted mediocrity”.

Robot Hugs isn’t so much a random, slice-of-life webcomic with a well-defined premise as it is a webspace where the author can dump his sad doodles, and sometimes make long, rambling illustrated tangents on whatever social justice activism that holds his interest, usually things like transgenderism, which the author identifies as being a part of, and feminism, because the author so desperately wants the female community to accept him as one of their own.

Early entries to Robot Hugs are usually random, inane drawings that really have nothing to them. Take this random example:

2011-08-25-A good way to go

That’s not a random panel from a strip. The previous and following comics have nothing to do with it. This is the build-up, delivery, and punch line. There is only one panel in this entry, and that’s it. No point, no effort, and no worthwhile thought.

Stick figure art is something that can be done well. In fact, some pretty good webcomics have been done with stick figure art, such as Cyanide & Happiness. In the vast majority of cases, however, it’s a cop-out that’s used to produce a sub-par product with a minimum of effort while leaning on the crutch of “style”. In some of those cases, it’s how talentless artists are enabled to coast along with a minimum of effort. In the case of Robot Hugs, there is some small sign of improvement as time went on, but it usually involves the bare minimums of stick figure art, such as good color choices and better-defined lines. Expressive facial features are sparse, but that can be sold as minimalism. At one point, he even takes on shading, but gives it up before long. Robot Hugs takes a style that’s mainly ironically likeable for its minimalism, and takes it even lower.

And then, with no warning, the author backs down from all the progress that he’s made on his style and goes to a hand drawn style that’s even worse:

2017-11-01-analogue

To be fair, he does give a reason for why he does this. However, there’s something more to it, which we can read about on his profile: The author studies in UX/IA, which has to do with website design. So he actually does spend a significant amount of his life staring at display screens. However, when one looks at his own website, how exactly is he putting his knowledge in website design into practice? He’s obviously not new at this, as his archives indicate that he’s been at it since 2009, and he usually updates about a half-dozen times a month with webcomics that are sub-par in quality.

Considering all this, and assuming that the author is trying hard, I suspect that the source of his ongoing sadness is that he’s putting a disproportionate amount of effort into something that he doesn’t really have a talent for. As children, nearly all of us are told that “we could be anything we want to be”. This is a disastrously terrible thing to tell a child, as it sets them up to pursue interests that are outside their own talents, and develop such an emotional attachment to their pursuits that they make them a part of their identity, making it an even stronger hit when they fail to live up to the expectations set for them.

The author of Robot Hugs doesn’t want to stare at display screens for long periods of time, and his webcomic has been insubstantial in quality since its inception over 9 years ago. Perhaps it’s about time for him to admit that it’s not his thing to either design websites or write webcomics. What he does instead, I don’t know; that’s the kind of thing that he can only determine after careful consideration of himself and how he can benefit society. However, it’s clear that making webcomics is not his thing.

Unless you can look at this and think “talent”:

2017-02-17-types of rats

The parts of his comic that are the most well-thought-out would be his SJW ramblings, which is not a compliment. If your only exposure to the SJW ideology would be YouTubers who make fun of them, go ahead and read an opinion piece from a veritable SJW. What you’ll find out is that the aforementioned YouTubers aren’t making up strawman arguments, they are actually taking on the SJW ideology itself, exactly as it’s presented when SJWs speak for themselves.

Here is a link to an example comic. (WORKSAFE WARNING: If you click that link, your employer’s IT department might think you’re an idiot.)

And speaking of worksafe warnings, the following came from the Robot Hugs “About” page:

NSFW comics are generally labelled as such.

Except they’re not, so his archives are a minefield of cartoon penises and vaginas that you might object to if you are somehow upset by naturally occurring features of human anatomy, or if you have a problem with these things being drawn poorly. The main character’s nipples might be considered explicit, considering that he’s a biological male who identifies as a female. Would they be? Have we figured it out yet?

And, as if it weren’t already obvious that this comic stars a self-insert, the author uses the webcomic to give us life updates:

2012-10-19-New Tablet

Whoop-dee-doo. Too bad your new tablet didn’t do anything to make your comics any better. You know what would? Having someone else do your art. And your writing. And your website design, for that matter. In fact, maybe you should pull a George Lucas and sign over creative control of your comic. Too bad that a guy would have to be insane to take this mess on, and once they come to their senses, they’d deep-six the whole thing.

The author of Robot Hugs spends too much time trying to be something he’s not: a webcomic artist, a decent website designer, even a woman. He doesn’t have what it takes to do any of these things; it’s time for him to stop kidding himself.

Robot hugs gets a score of a-sad-excuse-for-a-comic out of ten.

sick score

Which would be a 0.5 out of 10. If you’re thinking of making your own webcomic, you can do a better job than Robot Hugs with just a little something called effort.

Bin Laden Wanted a Biden Presidency, Reasoning That Biden Would Lead America Into a Crisis.

This is one of those things that sounds like it was totally made up to troll us, like when people started saying that Nostradamus predicted the 9/11 terror attacks, then passed this idea along in email forwards.

Even now, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone came forward and said “just kidding”, and confessed to being behind the whole thing.

In case you dived right in without reading the title, a letter from Osama Bin Laden is going around, which shows that the terror leader wanted a Biden presidency, because he viewed Biden as so unfit for office that he’d lead the US into a crisis.

As crazy as that sounds, there are receipts. On page 36 of the letter, as Bin Laden goes over a plan against then-president Obama, when Biden was Vice President, Bin Laden specifically stated that he wanted Biden to remain alive, so that he would assume the role of presidency, and lead America into a crisis.

Imagine being so inept that your greatest enemy sincerely wishes for you to assume command, believing that you’d cause an unmitigated disaster.

Except we really don’t have to, because Biden actually became president, and his handling of just about everything, including the abandonment of Afghanistan, has been a sight to behold.

Score one more point for those who believe that Biden was installed in an deliberate attempt to sabotage America.