Overweight People Now Have a Card to Present to Their Doctors to Avoid Stress

There are cards circulating for to present to doctors, to ask them not to weigh the presenters so the presenters can avoid the stress of knowing that they’re not in good health. The front side is pictured above, and the back is below:

And now for the hot take:

It’s hard to decide on just one thing that is funniest about this, because it’s hilarious on multiple levels. Here’s the weight-card-ridicule starter pack:

  • The implication that eliminating any possible source of stress is more important than taking care of the only body that the presenter would have for the rest of their life,
  • The insistence on burying their head in the sand rather than acknowledge that they have a problem,
  • The insistence that no one point their problem out to them, further enabling them to ignore it,
  • The implication that lighter people don’t have the same problem with stress over their weight, which is simply wrong,
  • The implication that they know what’s healthier for them than a trained, licensed, college-educated medical professional,
  • That weight stigma matters more to the buffoon than getting their sorry ass in shape.

I get it, becoming physically fit is not easy. You know what else is hard? Going for just about anything else that’s worth going for.

But apparently, it’s also hard to just ask your doctor not to weigh you, because it seems someone has decided that it would be easier to print up some cards to present to a doctor instead.

While we’re at it, why don’t we eliminate the spoken word wherever we deem it inconvenient, and present cards with preselected statements that people commonly use in the hopes that the recipient will accept them in place of actually talking to them? I’ve already thought of a few simple phrases that would fit on business-card stock:

  • Let’s have sex.
  • Make that a super-size.
  • I’d like to speak to your manager.
  • It’s my duty to inform you in accordance with Megan’s Law that I’m a convicted sex offender living in your community.
  • My preferred pronouns are (write in your own)
  • That credit card is a decoy. Just play along.
  • Dark Magician (Dark) 7 star [Spellcaster] ATK/2500 DEF/2100
  • For Avon cosmetics, call me at __________.

Why bother with simple social inconvenience when we can kill a few trees, instead?

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your “Health at Every Size” now, it will definitely make for interesting conversation when you’re dying due to obesity-related complications. But if at that point you’re still not up for it, then maybe by that point you’ll have thought up a few witty cards to present when the time comes.

Would it be wrong of me to look forward to it?

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