Author Archives: Raizen

TWAT News: Russia Russia LOL.

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Today, dismissed FBI chief James Comey testified saying that any possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia didn’t extend to Trump himself. This takes some of the heat off of Trump.

To me, this really wasn’t a surprise, because as pointed out by Zero Hedge, Comey had already testified under oath that he had faced no political pressure to end an investigation, and that if that did happen, that would be a “big deal”. It’s not likely that Comey would have reversed his position and faced possible charges of felony perjury just so some left-wing college-dropouts-to-be can see their daydreams of a cheap victory come true.

What you can count on at this point is for the corporate mainstream information media to attempt to spin this against Donald Trump, considering that they have had an incentive for quite some time to do this, for some reason.

george soros

For most, it would seem as though the corporate media has gone completely insane. After all, one might assume that the job of this corporate media is to inform the public, not to incessantly comment on a conspiracy theory for which no evidence has yet been presented.

In April of 2016, it has been found that only 6% of Americans trust the news media. When you have an approval rating lower than that of Congress, there’s a problem. When people become aware that people hate them and the job that they do, that tends to have an effect on them. For one thing, it’s the tendency of people to resolve the cognitive dissonance between what they do and people’s opinion of it by simply dismissing them as idiots.

But that’s not the only change that takes place. Like Congress, the corporate media has discovered that they have lasting jobs and steady income in spite of anyone’s opinions of them, and they have therefore come to the realization that they don’t need anyone’s respect.

In light of this, if they were to go full-tilt and turn their position as informers into a veritable sludge factory of left-wing narrative, what do they have left to lose? At this point, they know precisely what’s expected of them, and they’re going to give what audience that they have what they want, because it’s precisely the kind of horse crap that holds their attention.

Sure, Trump is off the hook for the time being, legally speaking. But even now, as we speak, the corporate media is hard at work trying to get the Russian collusion conspiracy theories to stick to him, regardless of just how silly that they sound.

They don’t need to convince the brightest people among us, of course. After all, the brightest among us don’t have votes that count any more than anyone else’s. Their goal is to convince enough idiots to make a difference. To that end, they’ll go non-stop to pump as much garbage into as many minds as possible.

Here’s a few facts to put some things into perspective:

  • It’s possible for a hacker to mask their IP address so that it appears to come from a different location. Popular patsies to pin illicit web conduct on are countries with a known history of non-cooperation with American investigators. China is a famous example. North Korea took the blame for a particularly famous bug just last month. And yes, Russian IPs are especially popular among hackers. Even trolls in my comment sections do this, and they think I have no idea.
  • The DNC’s email server wasn’t hacked. I’m not revealing it here, but their password at the supposed time of hacking was so simple, that a grade-schooler could have guessed it in a matter of seconds. It’s as bad as setting the combination to your luggage as “12345”. I’ve already commented on the technical ineptitude of the left, so suffice to say, you should be very glad that someone so terrible at keeping things a secret lost the election. Unless you hate America.
  • That last fact was so compelling, that I forgot what I was going to put here. But you’re welcome to go back and reread that last one. There’s a lot of weight to it. Like, imagine if the launch code to the US nuclear arsenal was something like “00000000”. Oh, wait…
  • The aforementioned grade-schooler would have easily been able to post what he found on WikiLeaks. So yeah, it’s quite possible that a child with the age of a single digit could have prevented Hillary from abusing even more power. There’s even a WikiHow article on how to do so.

Have fun looking on as the corporate media collapses into lunacy. So far, it’s been quite a show.

Webcomic Review: Yuyuko Likes Hot Pockets

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save yourself

Can we agree at this point that randomness alone doesn’t make something funny? I understand the mechanics of humor: it involves building up a person’s expectations and then presenting them with an unexpected outcome. Randomness involves unexpected outcomes. But when randomness is the only element used, it loses its effect.

The webcomic we’re looking at today is Yuyuko Likes Hot Pockets. My first problem with the comic would be its name. Hot Pockets suck. I’ve spent much of my adult life living like a Spartan, so for me, something like Hot Pockets was a “too-rich-for-my-blood” kind of thing. But one day, I tried them, and I was disappointed. They come with those weird cardboard boxes that are gray on the inside, likely to use to attempt to heat the things evenly. They fail. Usually, one bite can be as cold as ice, but the next is so hot it burns your mouth so that nothing tastes right for days. And if you made the sad mistake of getting the kind with pepperoni, have fun having the skin on the roof of your mouth stripped away by the hot oil.

hot pockets yuck.png

Yuyuko Likes Hot Pockets doesn’t star Yuyuko. It stars a couple self-inserts named Xephious and Dzelda. That’s right, this comic has two authors. When we get into just what this webcomic is made of, it’s going to be apparent that the authors were sabotaging each other every step of the way, and the result was Yuyuko Likes Hot Pockets.

One of the authors has their age as 28 on their profile, so at least one of them was college-aged when they started on this webcomic. The profile of the other one includes the following tidbit:

dzelda's profile

That’s an endeavor that definitely failed. And considering that her webcomic is Yuyuko Likes Hot Pockets, it’s safe to say that she’s done enough to contribute to it.

Yuyuko Likes Hot Pockets takes place in the fictional realm of Gensokyo, which is the intellectual property of ZUN of Team Shanghai Alice, the creator of the Touhou Project series of video games. Obviously, the authors aren’t going to go professional with this, but it is a common mistake among webcomic artists to believe that they can go professional using someone else’s copyrighted material. What’s more, characters from Touhou are also used, further anchoring this webcomic to an intellectual property that the authors don’t have rights to.

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The picture above should give you a good idea of what to expect from this comic’s artistic style. While the chibified anime style comes off as a cheap shortcut to begin with, this comic uses what appears to be the same template for every individual character. I feel I’ve seen the same style used for Touhou characters before, which makes me further suspect that the authors are using yet more properties that aren’t their own.

Like I’ve said already, this webcomic is random. There’s practically nothing in terms of storytelling. There’s something about clone capsules and Utsuho having her arm cannon stolen, but that’s about it. There’s even a random demotivator thrown in there for good measure. May as well; just about everything else about this comic is template driven, just like this meme was when it was relevant over a decade ago. I have my doubts that the art used for it was their own, though that part doesn’t seem to be from any cut-and-paste template I’ve ever seen.

Failed storytelling aside, the wordbubbles suffer from “tiny text syndrome”. I’ve found myself using the zoom function on my browser to try to figure out what the tiny text says, but Xephious has found another solution on this page: to provide a transcript in the comments section. That’s nice, but how about getting the word bubbles right while you’re still in the process of editing your comic? Not that I’m expecting much in the way of technical expertise from someone who asks in the comment section “how to compress an image without stretch/skewing it”.

It’s about time to give this comic its score, and I give it a Nitori’s frog out of ten:

nitori's froggy

Which would be a 1.6. And I think I’m being generous with this one.

The botched reveal of Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon

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pokemon ultra sun moon what

Nintendo just announced the next installments of the mainstream Pokemon games, as they showed in the following video.

Wait for it… Wait for it… Really wait for it…

There it is. Right at the end of a three-minute-long promo for the next Pokken Tournament game, we get twenty seconds about the next installments of the mainstream RPG. What earth-shattering new content do they have to show us?

It’s basically going to be a ROM hack. Only this time, Solgaleo and Lunaala have had chunks of Necrozma added to them.

If this sounds kind of familiar, that’s because this has already been done before. And not only that, the previous installment actually looked better:

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I know that most Pokemon fans out there that were disappointed by today’s announcement were disappointed for a different reason. They wanted to see a Pokemon Stars version on Nintendo Switch. Me, I was expecting remakes of Diamond and Pearl. The reason being, for several years, the mainstream Pokemon games, whether remake or not, have had a great deal of effort put into them (the new Kalos region, the revamped Hoenn region, the new Alola region). Because of this, I thought it reasonable to guess that Game Freak had moved beyond ROM hacks and that the next games would return to Sinnoh with a region that is completely redressed with a 3D engine.

At the very least, if Game Freak were to show a new Pokemon game, that reveal would come with something more interesting than showing the cover mascots with black chunks superglued onto them.

But, as it turns out, old habits die hard. And what makes this news potentially worse is that these may be the final 7th generation games and the final 3DS Pokemon games, ending the 7th generation of Pokemon with a pathetic whimper.

I know that there will likely be more to show with these games, but I’m still feeling a level of disappointment comparable to the reveal of Metroid Prime Soccer.

The way that they just tacked this announcement to the end of a three minute long promo for a different game makes it seem as though Nintendo didn’t want us to find out about these games. It’s like they knew that we’d be disappointed in it.

Genius restaurant owner bans children

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A North Carolina restaurant owner got tired of seeing the experiences of his paying customers ruined by poorly-behaving children, so he banned them from his restaurant.

That’s right. A restaurant owner finally developed the nerve to do it. So, let’s hear a round of applause for the restaurant owner, Yoshi Nunez.

The restaurant, named Caruso’s, has banned children under the age of five from entering its doors. As you’d probably expect, this move has resulted in criticism from those who don’t understand why the rest of us would want peace and quiet while spending some quality time with our wives and suitors while eating a steak that cost several hours of wage.

That smug glow of righteousness that comes from virtue signalling about ageism is spouted by people that want to be sure that they can take their screaming children with them anywhere they go, be it to supermarkets, shopping centers, and even to restaurants where their undisciplined bags of ugly noise can deter the prospect of procreating for those of us who are better suited to it.

Predictably enough, once word got out that there was a restaurant that served as a haven from other people’s children, reservations for that restaurant went through the roof. While irresponsible parents may have taken to social media to complain, the rest of us have voted with our money and decided that a kid-free restaurant was just what was needed.

Of course, the many left-wing news websites that reported on this would likely be at a loss once they come to the realization that the restaurant owner that banned children was well within his rights as a business owner to decline service to potential customers for any or no reason. To understand why, remember that these same news websites had no problem with lambasting Christian bakery owners for not making gay wedding cakes in violation of the bakery owner’s religious convictions, in spite of the fact that nearly every other bakery one could have chosen instead is not principled when it comes to this kind of thing.

Of course, the pedophiles would likely be upset by this development, as it would mean one less dating option for them.

TWAT News: Time magazine delegates its job to social media

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Sometimes, I suspect that Time magazine is optimizing its content so that people like me can make fun of it, so we’ll click on their stuff and get them ad revenue.

As vexing as it sounds, it seems to be working. Otherwise, it’s hard to explain the recent spate of articles from them commenting on what “the internet” is doing.

If you suspect that I put “the internet” in quotation marks on purpose, you’d be right. It should be pretty clear by now that when Time says that “the internet” is doing something, it means that they’ve found a small community that throws memes around that they can use to put words into the mouths of the rest of us.

Let’s look at a few of their headlines. It pains me to link to them, because I don’t want them to have more ad revenue, so please make sure you have your ad blocker and Privacy Badger enabled if you plan to let their site hurt your eyes.

By the way, some of their sites automatically play videos when you click on them. You know the kind I mean; they’re the ones that move to the lower-right corner when you attempt to scroll down to read their content. This makes Time like that boy on the playground that tries to show his privates to you: when you look away, he tries to get your attention.

The Internet Is Freaking Out Over How Donald Trump Still Tapes His Tie Together

Oh, is it? I’ve already commented on this one before, so there’s no need to get into it again here. The author of this piece is Megan McCluskey, a name that will come up again before this article is over.

The Internet Is Having a Field Day Turning Paul Ryan’s Health Care PowerPoint Into Hilarious Memes

Really? I couldn’t tell because I was busy not caring. However, author Megan McCluskey cares, and she’s willing to use her paid professional position in mainstream media to tell the rest of us that memes are being passed around on the internet. That this woman gets paid to trashpost is encouraging to a new generation of talentless hacks that want little more out of life than to draw in a meager paycheck for insipid mediocrity.

Sean Spicer Wore His Flag Pin Upside Down and the Internet Freaked Out

No, it didn’t.

This article has Megan McClusky’s style all over the place, from use of weasel words to aggregation of other people’s content. So I would have guessed that this article was her own. Or perhaps Katie Reilly is a pen name she uses. I’m beginning to suspect that there’s a workshop somewhere for putting together half-baked news stories by collecting other people’s Twitter posts. If so, dark days are ahead for journalism.

The Internet Can’t Stop Laughing at These Stunned Luke Kennard Memes

I’ll give Megan McCluskey that, because a person can’t stop laughing at something that they weren’t laughing at to begin with.

Have fun with whatever it is you’re trying to do, Time magazine. You look for new content for your site, and so do I.

TWAT News: Deluded musician conflates fantasy narrative with real-life political climate

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billie joe armstrong
This is Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong. I did not alter this photo.

I’m getting real tired of defending Donald Trump, off all people. However, when taking on the BS of old media, it’s a difficult thing to avoid.

This time, Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong made the news by comparing Donald Trump to Voldemort. That’s right, the bad guy from the fictional universe of Harry Potter.

What’s the scandal? What’s the event? Was there some major occurrence that makes this newsworthy? Nope. There was none. Just some washed up old musician firing his mouth off, and we’re supposed to give a care what he has to say.

That’s it. That’s the entire news story.

Surely this couldn’t have come from a news site that’s professional and relevant, right? There’s no way that a news outlet that’s been around for decades could have deemed this newsworthy and passed it along as news, right?

time-logo

Wrong.

That someone from the mainstream entertainment industry is expressing a view that’s so left-wing that he falls off the side of the plane isn’t really new. That the same guy thinks his audience is so witless that they’d nod assent with big stupid grins as he conflates real-life political climate with a fictional narrative isn’t exactly new, either (considering the people who actually still like Green Day, I wouldn’t put it past them). It’s also not new that he would directly compare someone he doesn’t like to the worst bad guy he could think of, consistent with someone who has never faced a true hardship.

So, what’s new about this? Absolutely nothing. And that’s exactly why it doesn’t belong in the news.

Maddox parodies SJW media, and it’s hilarious.

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Each year, the web comedian Maddox does an April fools version of his site, in which he parodies something that’s popular at the time. The April fools version is an obvious joke, which he temporarily makes the main page of his site.

This year, he parodies the stereotypical social justice news site that looks for Hitler in just about everything. If calling everything Hitler is a fast way to wear Godwin’s law into the ground, Maddox is making sure that’s happening.

Here is a link to the page. (Update: the parody now has its own page.)

Considering Maddox’s history with April fools content, he’s likely to get quite a few emails from concerned individuals who have no idea what’s going on.

TWAT News: Yet another feminist shows her boobs.

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emma watson tacky.png

It’s been another three months, and yet another feminist has exposed her breasts, and the drama has played out just as scripted. Because the game is old, fewer people are biting than ever before, so the production is more contrived than it’s ever been.

So, who’s the principle player, this time? It’s Emma Watson.

Look, each time this scripted scenario plays out, it begins with someone doing something that is well within their rights to do, and almost nobody cares. However, because at least one person out there takes the bait, the show is enabled to continue, and the actor can continue with their next line: by claiming to be a feminist, and that showing their boobs somehow advances women’s rights in a civilization that already grants women entirely the same freedoms as men (with preferential treatment over men, in some cases).

This time, the person who took the bait was Julia Hartley-Brewer, who tweeted this:

“Feminism, feminism . . .  gender wage gap . . . why oh why am I not taken seriously . . . feminism . . . oh, and here are my t*ts!”

Thanks a lot, Julia. If everyone had just ignored Emma, she would not have been enabled to continue. But you answered her, and Emma continued with the next lines in the script:

“They were claiming that I couldn’t be a feminist and have boobs. Feminism is about giving women choice.”

Like any other feminist that has existed in the last several decades, Emma couldn’t make her critics look unreasonable without first building up a straw man so she can tear it down. No one is saying that feminists can’t have boobs or that women can’t have choice. The world would become a better place if feminists like Watson would just get over themselves.

“Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women with.”

Agreed. Put that into practice.

“It’s about freedom. It’s about liberation. It’s about equality.”

Mission accomplished. In western civilization, anyway. What are you doing about the numerous sex slaves in the Middle East?

“I really don’t know what my t*ts have to do with it.”

Neither do I. You’re the one that brought them into this.

Look, we all know that when feminists bare their boobs, it’s not to advance the feminist cause, considering that there’s no conceivable way that such an action would make life better for any woman anywhere. It’s about exhibitionism. Some women love sharing their boobs, and they are using feminism to enable them.

One feminist, Sharron Foster, had this to say on the matter:

“I live by the beach and I’ll happily swim in a bikini and often go topless on holiday in a warm country – why should that mean I can’t also be a feminist? That’s simply ludicrous.

“Being a feminist means making your own choices and doing what you feel is right for you.”

Again, no one is saying that women can’t bare their breasts and also be feminists. And for those who would dig up one or two tweets from someone who actually said such a thing, you’d be cherry-picking. The majority has understood the tendency of feminists to use their cause as a pretext for exhibitionism. PETA pulls this, as well.

I, on the other hand, am not cherry-picking. I’m showing the feminists’ arguments in full force, and taking them on as presented. Here’s more of what Foster has to say:

“I do not care what men or even other women think in terms of how I dress or what I choose to do because if you live by the opinion of others you only devalue your own. As a jewellery (sic) designer I am financially independent, I make all my own decisions and hope I am an excellent role model to both my five-year-old son, James, and 19-year-old daughter, Sophia.”

Does anyone doubt that her children will turn out just fine with an exhibitionist mother who is a shill for a fringe left-wing cause?

“I have always tried to raise my daughter to believe that all women should feel empowered to follow their desires.”

This is one of the main problems with modern feminism. It’s not about what they think, it’s about what they feel. When she feels like showing her breasts, she does it.

“Posing topless, for example, is not an incitement to being touched. Are men really so little in control of themselves?”

The answer is no. Believe it or not, most men don’t think about sex every waking moment of the day, and society doesn’t benefit from the notion that they do.

If the men you hang out with behave like knuckle-draggers, your solution to this problem is to seek out the company of better men.

“People who criticise (sic) Emma Watson for her Vanity Fair photo are only projecting their own prejudice on to her.”

Please explain. Psychological projection has to do with defending one’s self from one’s own faults by attributing those faults to someone else. Who is Emma Watson prejudiced against?

If you want to show your boobs, that’s your business. But when you make it about feminism, people can see right through your ruse. Personally, I don’t see Emma Watson’s breasts as a big deal. If not seeing her breasts means not hearing her shilling her pet cause, I’d consider it a bargain.

TWAT News: JonTron removed from video game over wrongthink

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JonTron-Yooka-Laylee-PlaytonicJonTron, not looking at all sad about being removed from a game that looks like garbage.

YouTube personality JonTron voiced a character in the upcoming Yooka-Laylee video game, which releases within the next few weeks. However, after JonTron expressed his views on a few sensitive matters, the developer, Playtonic, made the choice to remove his voice from the game via a content update.

Upon hearing this, I was interested in knowing just what he said, so I did a little web search. Polygon.com had the following headline:

JonTron being cut from Yooka-Laylee after spouting racist views

Just what were the racist views we’re talking about here? He said that wealthier black people commit more crimes than poorer white people, for one thing. He also said that citizenship is not a human right.

Neither of which are racist statements as much as they are observations. It is statistically accurate that black people commit a disproportionate amount of violent crime. And it’s true that no one is entitled to citizenship in any country that they weren’t born in (in some cases, they can lose that much).

Leftist news sites and others with an obvious bias are not trying to convince the smartest people among us. For an idea to gain traction, it is only necessary to convince enough gullible cretins. Considering this, it’s no surprise that a news site like Polygon would conflate speaking of actual immigration law and crime statistics with hardcore ban-the-blacks-to-their-own-water-fountains racism.

Playtonic issued a statement regarding their decision to remove JonTron, and this passage in particular caught my eye:

Playtonic is a studio that celebrates diversity in all forms and strives to make games that everyone can enjoy.

“Diversity in all forms”, that is, unless that diversity involves opinions that are different from your own. Believe it or not, there’s more to diversity than having people around that look different. There are many employers that display informational pamphlets about Purim in their breakroom. Yet, those very same employers would be hesitant to actually hire a Jewish applicant if it meant that he’d want time off to keep the Holy Days, including the weekly Sabbath. This is because their so-called “commitment to diversity” is little more than virtue-signalling bluster.

One might think that with the Republican party being in control of all elected branches of federal government, there would be more respect for right-wing viewpoints. However, Playtonic’s treatment of JonTron and Polygon’s slant against him is a solemn reminder that this is not the case. Even though the political right has institutional control of the government, the left is just about as establishment as they’ve ever been. This is because their influence extends to virtually all levels of society, including education, labor unions, most of the news media, most social media, the entertainment industry, and the tech industry. They are still very much in a position of power that they can abuse.

And abuse it, they do, and they want you to know that if you step out of line and express an opinion that is not in lock-step with their own, they’ll do what they can to make that choice expensive for you.

Of course, this story doesn’t conclude with people putting up with it. Since stating their intention to remove JonTron from their game, Playtonic has been hit hard with refund requests, including from those who backed their Kickstarter project. People are expressing their disappointment with their money by demanding it back. If companies like Playtonic want to hit us for expressing our opinions, we’ll hit back where it really matters: right in their pocketbooks.

I know that there are those out there who would point out that the decision by game companies, social media, and the like to block content isn’t as much a violation of the first amendment as it is private companies deciding what content they deem suitable and which people they want associated with their image. I know, and I don’t care. As I see it, even private companies have a moral responsibility (even if not a legal one) to behave towards their customers, employees, and users in a manner consistent with the values of western civilization, which protects and honors free expression.

When it comes down to it, free expression is one of the most important things that western civilization has. Do you realize how hard it would be to determine who among us is a complete doddering imbecile if they were not allowed to state exactly what’s going on in their weak, simplistic minds?

The fastest way to expose a fool is to permit him to speak.

TWAT News: Teacher accused of sex with student smiles

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A teacher has been accused of having sexual contact with a student. That doesn’t sound extraordinary in itself, right?

Because this is the mainstream information media we’re talking about here, it’s expected of you to immediately assume guilt, especially in cases involving sexual conduct like this one, and look up the accused’s address so you can throw bricks through their windows.

Without paying mind, of course, to the fact that the key term here is “accused”, so that in the event that the supposed perp is acquitted, her name will continue to appear associated with the alleged crime in Google searches made by prospective employers for decades to come, along with her photograph, even though she may not have done it. And with some very elementary internet sleuthing skills, one can find her current address as well as every address she’s ever lived at, every phone number she’s ever had including the ones that have been returned to circulation for future Verizon customers, her email address, social security number, license plate numbers, and bank account statements.

She decided to do something about it. So here is what she did:

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She smiled for her mugshot. And not just any smile, either. She smiled a big, bright, beaming smile.

Because if old media is going to go full tilt to attempt to demolish every trace of whatever life she may have had, the very least she could have done was deny them the ol’ killer’s pout.

So, what is it that she’s accused of? She supposedly had a sexual encounter with a 17-year-old student as she taught anatomy at a high school. No word yet on whether the encounter was intended as some sort of “special demonstration”, but this story already sounds like some half-baked porno.

Hello, elephant in the room. We all know that if the gender roles were reversed, we’d be reading a very different story. Women are treated far differently by the criminal justice system, which largely stems from the fact that in cases involving sexual impropriety, the presumption of guilt is usually on the man, as though it was never the woman’s idea. Even if he were entirely sure that he would not be convicted, if in the same position and charged with the same crime, managing any smile for a mugshot would demonstrate a thorough detachment from the reality around him that was kicking his butt up around his ears, figuratively speaking. Literally speaking, it would likely be seizing his home and cars, emptying his bank account, writing up tons of legal fees, taking his children into “protective” custody, enabling his wife to divorce him, and making him live in a tiny cell where he eats garbage and sleeps around people who want to stab him.

Go ahead and smile, Sarah Fowlkes. We know you tried as hard as you could.