Author Archives: Raizen

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

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There is a short story that I grew up with that I imagine isn’t being passed along among today’s millennials. Therefore, I’ve decided to share it so that its message isn’t lost among a generation that needs it.

This is the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

There was a boy whose job it was to tend the sheep. His job was pretty simple: he was to keep an eye on the sheep, and if a wolf were to come along, he was to run into town making as much noise as he could, so the townsfolk would rush in and protect the sheep.

The boy had only one job to do, and as long as he didn’t screw it up, things would go just fine.

One day, the boy was bored, so he hatched a plan to cause a little excitement. He ran into town crying “Wolf! Wolf!” As he did so, the townsfolk ran to the fields as fast as they could, intent on protecting the sheep.

However, when they came, they didn’t find any wolf. They only found the boy, laughing hysterically at the commotion that he caused. The townsfolk returned home.

The boy had such fun, that he decided to try the same thing the next day. He ran into town crying “Wolf! Wolf!” Just as the day before, the villagers rushed in, but only found the boy laughing it up about having caused a ruckus. As before, the townsfolk returned home.

The next day, a wolf actually did appear, and prowled around the sheep. Immediately, the boy leaped into action. He ran into town and cried “Wolf! Wolf!” as was his job to do.

However, the townsfolk didn’t respond.

So the boy ran around, screaming louder, “WOLF! WOLF!” However, the townsfolk ignored him. They remembered him as the boy who lied to them before, and they were determined not to fall for his schemes again.

The boy ran around screaming “Wolf! Wolf!” until he was exhausted. When it was nearly evening, he gave up and returned to his field. By the time he did, the wolf had already taken away all of the sheep. Because the boy lied and failed in his duty, he was left without a single sheep.

Remind you of anyone?

TWAT News: Hawaii virtue signals on immigration

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Hawaii has become the first state to challenge President Trump’s travel ban on 6 Muslim majority countries. The fact that the countries in question are Muslim majority is apparently relevant, rather than the fact that the countries in question are conflict zones or rogue states. But hey, I suppose the Muslim majority claim better fits the narrative, in spite of the fact that citizens of the other 44 Muslim majority countries may travel to the US easily.

president trump's travel ban percentage of countries banned

Some “Muslim ban” this is.

As you likely know, Hawaii’s capacity for identifying with the plight of states affected by illegal immigration is well known, considering the fact that the state shares a border with absolutely nobody, and the nearest continental landmass is over 2400 miles away.

google earth distance to hawaii

Seeing as Hawaii traditionally votes Democrat, it should be no surprise that the place is somehow ridiculously wealthy in spite of the fact that it doesn’t produce jack.

Hawaii’s challenge to the travel ban is on the claim that the ban is unconstitutional, which it isn’t. Come on, people. Actually read the constitution. It’s not very long, so it won’t take much time. In fact, here is a link to do so. You’d be surprised how many people have no idea what their rights are.

This Was Actually The News: A few people care that Trump tapes his tie

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As much as I wish that title was lying to you, yes, there are people out there that care that Donald Trump uses tape on his tie. And it actually made news headlines. This is the headline’s title:

“The Internet Is Freaking Out Over How Donald Trump Still Tapes His Tie Together”

One thing that hits me about that headline is how it tries to put words in your mouth and mine. When “the internet” is used in such a sense, it usually implies that it’s something that everyone is talking about, considering that just about everyone uses the internet. If the headline is to be believed (and it shouldn’t be), Facebook is bumping and message boards are aflame over the few inches of scotch tape on President Trump’s tie, as though no one has any more significant concern, such as whatever job they should be doing instead of goofing off on social media.

Also, it acknowledges that he “still” tapes his tie together, as though this were the latest episode of an ongoing drama that anybody gives a toilet brownie about.

The point of the tape is apparently to hold the narrow end of the tie in place so it doesn’t come out from behind the broad end, which would look kind of clumsy. I admit that I’ve had to cope with this. My preferred method is usually to tuck the narrow end behind the convenient tags behind the broad end. In the absence of those, I’ve tucked it into my shirt. I admit that I wouldn’t have thought to use tape, but I suppose that would work. Newsworthy?

No. Why does anyone care?

Long story short: because old media will take any opportunity to ridicule Trump, no matter how cheap the shot, they’ll do it, especially considering that they’re enabled by massive piles of George Soros money.

You’re probably thinking, “Raizen, why are you picking such low-hanging fruit? You had to have gotten this tripe off of Huffington Post or Salon.com. Don’t you know that those aren’t real news sources?” And you’d be right, they’re not. However, I didn’t find this story on either of them. Behold, the source:

time-logo

That’s something to think about as you knock back those anti-depressants. You got to see the day that Time fell from relevance.

If you sincerely find that Trump tapes his tie of more significance than anything else he does, I don’t know what to say to you. Take a back seat, whatever ethnic group that Trump supposedly subjugates this week: Trump tapes his tie. Those are the jingling keys that are holding our attention.

Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to be someone from Kenya or Ukraine that checks American headlines to see what makes the news over here.

This Was Actually The News: Roommate seeker discriminates against Trump supporters

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Old media is becoming increasingly difficult to parody, what with their willingness to put any inane or ridiculous thing out there as news. Because of this, I’ve decided to try a series titled “This Was Actually The News” (or TWAT News for short), where I look at what makes the news these days. I’m not going to limit my news selections to a specific criteria, mainly in the interest of allowing myself the freedom to mock or be pleasantly surprised at whatever news stories I wish.

And what better way to kick this series off than with an article by CNN that should not have made it past the classifieds page.

23-year-old Sahar Kian made the news after taking out a classifieds ad seeking a roommate with the condition that the roommate not be a Trump supporter.

And that’s it. That’s what made this story newsworthy. That someone doesn’t want to share some cheap apartment somewhere with someone that they don’t politically agree with. Of course, the vitriol is directed at Donald Trump, so it’s no surprise that old media is going to jump over this with all the eagerness of Jared Fogle at a daycare.

Yes, there are millions of ignoramuses out there that wouldn’t cohabit with someone with a different opinion. But what makes Sahar Kian different is that she came right out and said it. What makes this story interesting isn’t that she did, it’s that old media decided to make a news story out of a simple classifieds preference. So, it actually says a lot more about old media than it says about the umpteen millionth liberal fringe lunatic that thinks that animals are people.

She probably isn’t going to have a problem finding a roommate now, now that her classifieds ad has made nationwide news. The only question is how long her choice of roommate will be able to stand her. If what she seeks in a roommate is any indication, the answer is that it won’t likely be very long.

For one thing, she doesn’t allow pets into the house. This in itself isn’t unusual, as it is a rule enforced by certain landlords. However, she also bars alcohol and meat products. So she’s liberal, but not so liberal that she’d allow people to choose for themselves what they eat and drink.

Kian also has a victim complex, as indicated in the following statement issued by Kian herself:

“Look at me, I’m brown. I’m a woman. I am somebody who is heavily reliant on Obama’s pre-existing condition clause,”

She’s also not at all hesitant to bring her battle against imaginary racists and sexists into matters. Look, I know that Trump haters are sincere in their beliefs that Donald Trump and his supporters actually are racists and sexists, and in most cases, they believe it because they were presented with evidence that, however fallacious, was convincing enough for them. What I’m saying is, when you live with someone who is paranoid enough, you’re going to see days in which they misplace their stuff and then go around saying that their enemies are stealing from them and accusing their roommates of being in on some conspiracy to do so.

As for “Obama’s pre-existing condition clause”, she’d be referring to Obamacare and her fear that the unsustainable healthcare law will be repealed. As it turns out, the law to replace it retains a ban on discriminating against people with pre-existing conditions, but that doesn’t prevent Kian from making assumptions, nor does it stop Kian from thinking that Trump and his supporters are out to get her.

Speaking of her ad, Kian says:

“It doesn’t say no conservatives in my ad, it doesn’t say no Republicans, it doesn’t say no Christians, it says no Trump supporters.”

Of course, it really doesn’t have to, because of her prohibition on tasty food and grown-up beverages. It’s obvious that she doesn’t want to talk politics unless it’s with someone who is in complete lock-step with the agenda of whatever left-wing fringe group that she’s a part of.

If it weren’t for the fact that this story made national news, Kian would stand almost no chance whatsoever of finding a roomie. The average person does have an ability to determine whether there’s something off about someone, even if on some small, subliminal level (it’s that so-called “creep vibe”). Kian embraces her inability to compromise with her fellow human being with an unsettling openness, which is just what makes her so unappealing. Her classifieds ad reads as a list of demands, including restrictions against food items, and it’s likely that she’d be leaving out quite a few demands that any potential roomie won’t find out about until after they’ve made the mistake of co-signing a lease with her.

So yeah… an anti-Trump classifieds ad was actually the news. Yep.

How to Avoid Looking Like an Idiot

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The following list serves as a launch point for recovering idiots to aid them in their rehabilitation:

  1. When listening to music on your phone in public, use earphones. Phones come with earbuds these days, so there’s no excuse not to use them.
  2. Don’t start a conversation with another man doing a number one or number two in a public restroom. Also, no peeking.
  3. If your Facebook profile pic is porn of Mewtwo or Doremi, don’t be surprised if you don’t get hired.
  4. “Their”, “there”, and “they’re”. Learn the differences between them, and pick the appropriate one.
  5. If you have to ask when you’ll ever have to use a certain kind of math you’re learning, you might not use your degree very effectively.
  6. Don’t pretend you know everything. Most people can recognize a pretentious pseudo-intellectual instantly.
  7. Christmas is not a season.
  8. Use your turn signal. The rest of us can’t read your mind.
  9. Don’t pretend that obesity is healthy.
  10. Don’t look up furry porn on a school or employer’s computer. They can monitor the activity on their network. Believe it or not, a classmate of mine had to be told this. Twice.
  11. Stop calling yourself a nerd just to impress people.
  12. Don’t wear pajama bottoms in public. That fad is over, and it makes you look cheap.
  13. When you talk on your phone while driving, you might have noticed that people look at you like you’re stupid. There’s a reason for that.
  14. Each time you proclaim that organic or gluten-free food is somehow healthier, you risk being overheard by someone who knows better.
  15. A religion is an ideology, not a race.
  16. The inner lane of traffic is the passing lane. When you match speeds with a vehicle right beside you, those behind you wish that missiles were a standard feature in automobiles.
  17. Trying too hard to sound nice doesn’t lighten the atmosphere, it’s awkward.
  18. Stop wearing Beats headphones as a fashion statement. It makes it look like you have too much money.
  19. You are not a unicorn, vampire, or werewolf. If you think that you are one of the above, you probably just want weird sex.
  20. Television lied to you.
  21. “Apocalypse” means “revelation”. If there is going to be a “zombie apocalypse”, that apocalypse would be that there are no zombies.
  22. He who ironically likes something still likes it.
  23. Turn off your high-beams. And stop calling them “fog-lights”. Using them while it’s foggy creates a glare that makes it harder for the user to see.
  24. Virtue signalling doesn’t make you look like a hero.
  25. Don’t repost this to Buzzfeed.

The above serves as excellent starting points in one’s attempt to trick those around him into thinking that he’s not a mental deficient.

 

What your protests say about your values

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trump-dc-protests-thugs-pokemon-team-skull

People are ambassadors of whatever cause that they stand for. In particular, the actions that they carry out in the name of their cause is an indication of the virtues of the cause itself, as well as the values of the ones carrying them out.

This is particularly interesting to think about in light of the recent Trump inauguration protests. Pictured above is an image I found on CNN.com, and was obviously altered by myself to make a point. The attire of the persons pictured bear a striking resemblance to that of the antagonists of the latest Pokemon games. This is an odd choice for the protesters, as Team Skull from Pokemon were designed to be the worst amount-to-nothing low-life thugs a person could possibly imagine.

If a crappy fashion sense were all that were wrong with these people, I might not be commenting on them today (but maybe I would, considering my tendency to make fun of stupid fads). However, a person’s attire is not the only way that they represent their cause. Their cause is also represented by their actions.

What is their cause? Equal rights and opportunities for all races, either gender or perceived gender, and whatever strange sexuality happens to be touted by Buzzfeed this week. How do they represent their cause? By blocking roads, setting fires, and physically attacking people.

Apparently, they feel completely justified in their cause, otherwise, they wouldn’t do such things. It’s not like most people would get up in the morning, look themselves in the mirror, and say to themselves, “how can I be the most horribly despicable person I can be today?” If a person does something bad, it’s usually because they’ve justified to themselves whatever it is that they’re doing. In their case, that justification involves convincing themselves that the people that disagree with them are racists and sexists (though they aren’t), and convincing themselves that racism and sexism are the worst crimes that can be committed against humanity (they are far from it). Once they can do that, they can internally justify committing any crime against them, thinking that they are doing the world a favor in so doing, and thinking that they are the good guys in whatever cause it is that they are standing for.

Such thinking really isn’t new. It’s been employed throughout history to justify some of the worst crimes imaginable. The worst crimes in history have been committed by those who have felt justified in what they were doing. By way of example, Socialists and Communists believed that they were making the world a better place for poor people, and they used this as justification to kill tens of millions who opposed their movements. The National Socialist movement of Adolf Hitler actually believed that the Jewish people were plotting to take over the world, and they used this to justify attempting to wipe them out. During the initial expansion of Islam, Muslims believed that they were helping God by spreading their religion, which they used to justify attempting to take Europe by force, which they would have eventually accomplished if Europe didn’t respond with the Crusades.

Today, you see the Social Justice movement represented by groups such as Black Lives Matter doing things like blocking streets, setting fire to automobiles, attacking people, calling for the death of law enforcement, and threatening anyone that disagrees with their cause, just to name a few examples. While the movement itself sees such behavior as “activism”, the civilized world has another word that fits much better: “terrorism”. And it’s hard to argue with it, because their methods are intended to instill fear.

Terrorism – noun
the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims

Yet, they feel justified because they’ve convinced themselves that their actions, however criminal, are for the greater good. They’ve become the bad guys, yet they don’t see it, because to them it’s everyone else that are racist or sexist.

When they punch in a car’s windshield (unaware that the car might have belonged to someone who voted for Hillary), they are representing the values of their cause. When one of them uploads a YouTube video throwing a temper tantrum because someone presented an opinion that was not in lock-step with their own, they are representing the values of their cause.

trigglypuffAn overly-well-fed millennial throwing a fit about hearing an opinion that’s different from hers at an event she didn’t have to attend.

And people can see that something is wrong. To the rest of us, it’s obvious. A man indulges in vacuous inanities to defend an ideology that actively beheads people today; people see that something is wrong. A woman throws a trash can and acts like she has demon problems; people see that something is wrong. An educator calls for “muscle” to intimidate a student journalist; people can see that something is wrong.

When SJWs act like total nutcases, they are seen as nutcases. When they behave as such on a consistent basis, people are going to come to realize that there is something fundamentally wrong with their movement. When it goes on for years, people are going to get sick of it.

This is why we now have a Trump presidency. People saw Regressive Leftism acting out for years, representing their values by throwing temper tantrums and destroying things. So people put their collective feet down and said, “No.” It didn’t happen because the SJWs failed to represent themselves. It happened because they represented themselves well. When you say that you’re for peace and progressivism, and you go around breaking and burning things, people are going to think that you’re manic. And why shouldn’t they? You’ll have already proven it beyond a doubt.

When you see Leftists behaving badly, it’s easy to point out. But when they start dressing like thugs and carrying out terrorist acts, that saves the rest of us the trouble of having to point it out, because they are doing it to themselves. The core values of the Social Justice movement are apparent because they themselves have placed them on display for the public eye to behold.

Why don’t we put pumpkin spice in everything?

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I was at the grocery store the other day, and I saw that pumpkin spice was being put into so many things. I admit that I wasn’t very fond of pumpkin spice. But it is something that comes up during the harvest season in things like ice cream, coffee creamers, snack cakes, etc.

But then I had an idea: Why don’t we put pumpkin spice in everything?

Think about it. Don’t we have pumpkin spice Triscuits? If not, why don’t we? How hard can it be for food makers to sprinkle a little of that pumpkin spice that they clearly have way too much of into boxes of Triscuits so we can taste some of the pumpkin spice goodness in each bite of Triscuits?

In fact, why don’t we have pumpkin spice breakfast cereals? Like Cheerios. Is there already a pumpkin spice Cheerios? I didn’t look it up, so I don’t know. But it sounds like a great idea, so if they didn’t already do that to our Cheerios, why don’t they?

636059159307683888-pumpkin-spice-photo-2

Okay, so I looked it up, and they actually did do a pumpkin spice Cheerios. Okay, but why stop there? Why not put it in every breakfast cereal? Like Cinnamon Toast Crunch? They can just take the cinnamon out and put pumpkin spice in there instead.

Or why not add it to other foods that are missing out on the whole pumpkin spice fad? Like Tabasco. Tabasco sauce is great, so why not mess with it? Notice how they are starting to put Sriracha into everything? And dried cranberries, for that matter. It’s almost as though there was an overproduction of dried cranberries, because now it’s hard to buy health food while avoiding dried cranberries. Well, why not make pumpkin spice Sriracha sauce, combining the two fads to become one big super fad food item. Think about how unstoppable that would be. And they can somehow work dried cranberries into it. That would be brutal.

And while we’re adding pumpkin spice to food, why don’t we genetically engineer all our foods so that they’d grow with pumpkin spice in them? We can make things like strawberries that grow with pumpkin spice already in them. And broccoli. And pears. Pumpkin spice everywhere!

Also, meat. We can breed some special cows that grow pre-seasoned with pumpkin spice. Then do that with the other livestock. Then dispose of all the other livestock that doesn’t have pumpkin spice in it. That way, all food would have pumpkin spice. Even steak. It would be impossible to avoid it. And if anyone would want to avoid it, they’d have to move to some island somewhere where they’d attempt to live pumpkin spice free lives. But rather than let them, we could fly jets over them and drop pumpkin spice bombs on them. BOOSH!!! Take that, you pumpkin spice haters. Then we’d have pumpkin spice everywhere.

Think about what that would be like. There’d be pumpkin spice in everything, and no one could avoid it. So, why don’t we put pumpkin spice in everything?

Because that’d be a stupid idea, that’s why.

NOTE: After typing this up, I looked it up, and it turns out that there really are pumpkin spice Triscuits.

1610w-pumpkin-spice-triscuits-box

The recipe on the box calls for (surprise) cranberries:

pumpkintriscuit-02

There probably actually is a pumpkin spice Tabasco sauce or Sriracha, but I’m afraid to look.

The thought of these 8 fads being over brings a smile to my face.

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This is a blog wherein I do complain about stuff, but I do like to generally keep things positive. While there are things going on today that I find irritating to think about and fads that make me think that so many people have been hit on the heads as children, there are some things to be positive about.

I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those people that sometimes breaks out into a smile. Because people don’t read my mind, they might assume that I’m just crazy, rather than savoring an especially positive thought (while I do enjoy my privacy, I know that there are some people who I’d welcome to read my mind because they’d learn a few things that could result in them becoming better people).

EDIT: In light of the fact that new, technologically-driven ways to violate privacy are continually being developed, I’m making it clear here that that last paragraph concluded with a joke. No human being has ever been granted my permission to read my mind, including through technologically-assisted methods. So don’t do that.

There are thoughts that bring a smile to my face, and I’m sharing a few of them right here. Mainly, they have to do with certain things that used to be really popular and irked me, but I managed to live to see the day in which they are things of the past. I think of the following fads being over, and it brings a smile to my face.

1. H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty)
This was some trendy pseudo-rebellious garbage that pandered to black finger nail polish wearing high school kids who wanted a little bit of satanic symbolism to help them be passive-aggressive towards religion for image’s sake. Their associated symbol was a pentagram with two rounded points that made it look like there was a heart in there. What was the point of this? Who cares? The fad is over. I survived, the fad did not.

2. The Emo fad
Another stupid fad that pandered to children, this one encouraged them to act all depressed in spite of the fact that they’re children who have never experienced a real hardship in their lives outside of their mom and dad not letting them borrow the car.

I can think of the following challenges that kids face:

  1. Showing up for school. Apparently, they get credit just for that.
  2. Not stepping out of line. When everyone else is bigger than you, it’s easy for them to beat you up.
  3. Keeping your mouth shut. It’s a challenge for kids to realize that they don’t know better than the adults in their lives who have been at this “life” thing much longer than they have.

There are children out there with very little in the way of food, shelter, and clothing, and they were probably more irked by the emo movement than I was because the emo kids seemed so sad to be reaping the benefits of middle-class life in a first world nation. Not that they’d still be upset about it, because the fad is over.

3. Miscellaneous nineties music
The music was probably the most annoying thing about the nineties. While it may open some wounds to bring it up, it is comforting to know that the garbage that was popular back then is no longer annoying us today.

When was the last time you turned on the radio and heard The Mighty Mighty Boss Tones? Or Third Eye Blind? Or any of that other garbage that likely had some political undertones? Left-wing political undertones, of course. This is the entertainment industry we’re talking about here. It’s not like they trust you to think for yourselves.

For that matter, when was the last time you turned on the radio and allowed it to dictate to you what music you listen to? No thanks, radio. I prefer to listen to my own playlists, without the advertisements.

4. Tight/bangin’ as slang
There have been various iterations of the word “cool” over the ages that come and go. There were a couple in particular that I was really glad to see go: “tight” and “bangin'”. Both seemed to be popular at the same time, and both of them I was really happy to see go, because of the sexual connotation involved that made them cringe-worthy. Here are a couple examples of their use:

“That hamburger was tight, yo.”

That’s “tight” as in a property of a woman’s vagina, because apparently a Burger King hamburger can be compared to the grip supplied by a birth canal during coitus, right?

“Those chicken wings were bangin’!”

To understand the full annoyance of the delivery, imagine a mildly-overweight middle-aged woman trying way too hard to sound hip tilting her head back and to the side on the word “were”, so she can push the word “bangin'” at you so you immediately feel like going home and scrubbing that association between the sexual connotation and her overly-mascaraed face from your brain with steel wool and butane.

When these two slangs were phased out as substitutions for the word “cool”, the collective did language a huge favor.

5. Michael Moore’s career
One thing that really annoyed me about the Bush presidency wasn’t Bush himself, it was the sheer smugness of the self-appointed intellectual superiors who complained about him nonstop, while a bunch of liberal arts majors carried water for them in spite of the fact that they had no idea what was going on. Considering that these people had near institutional control of the information media, it was difficult to escape all of the whining over everything he had ever done. But if I were to pick just one of them that I found more shrill and annoying than the rest, that would be Michael Moore.

While hating on Bush was the fad of the time, Michael Moore took it to an art form. To the point of making a movie to bust Bush’s chops. His arrogance was so astounding, that I actually wanted to see Bush win reelection out of spite. Which was just what happened.

Wonder what Michael Moore is up to now? When was the last time he said anything that you gave a care about?

Exactly.

It’s true that he still does speaking events, but it’s not as fun watching him descend into lunacy as it once was. Besides, right now, we have The Young Turks for that, and those guys are pure unintentional entertainment. If it’s a left-wing meltdown that you’re in the mood for, Cenk Uygur has you covered. Michael Moore is old news.

6. The DaVinci Code
If it weren’t bad enough that we had a fake documentary from Michael Moore, there were a bunch more inspired by The DaVinci Code. If you’ve already forgotten what The DaVinci Code was about, that’s enviable in it’s own sense. It was basically a work of fiction based on the premise that Jesus actually had children, which was then covered up by a mysterious order who somehow benefited by keeping this information to themselves. The order, being highly secretive and cunning, decided that the best way to keep their secret from the public was to have Leonardo DaVinci plant evidence of it throughout his work. The associated media flavored the material with mysterious, moody music and yellow, faded parchment, because you’re supposed to feel as though such a conspiracy actually happened.

Here’s the kicker: The author, Dan Brown, says that the cover up actually occurred. And suckers ate it up. Plenty of them.

So, what happened? One might like to think that the aforementioned suckers realized that they were being conned into buying garbage and doing a media machine’s marketing for them, but it’s far more likely that they got distracted by the next fad theology that came along. In any case, the DaVinci Code fad was over, and the History Channel moved on to marketing another stupid movie.

7. Loose Change
I could have merged this and the previous two into an entry called “Fakumentaries”, considering that all three of Fahrenheit 9/11, The DaVinci Code, and Loose Change came around at about the same time, indicating that there was this unusual demand at the time for being lied to by pseudo-intellectuals with obvious agendas. Our children will think that we were so stupid, but there’s no denying that there were many stupid people around at the time, as evidenced by these three fakumentaries.

What makes Loose Change so special is that it was produced by a film student by the name of Dylan Avery, who made it as an example of the kind of nonsense that 9/11 truthers believe. What Dylan didn’t count on was that, after having released his film to the internet, millions of people were stupid enough to take it at face value. So, did Dylan set the record straight?

No. He gave himself up.

He had something that most film students could only dream of having prior to graduation: a huge audience. If he set the record straight, he’d lose that audience and have to build it up again in the industry, which is something that many in the film industry spend their entire lives doing. So he issued a revised version of his film and gave the suckers what they wanted.

So, why don’t you hear about him today? For one thing, he made the mistake of releasing his video to the internet for free, so no one had to pay him for it. Not a very sustainable way to do business. Since then, he’s worked on several other films, but no one cares about them.

Of course, if more people had thought to ask why a mere film student would possess such insight into the inner-workings of a conspiracy to present a planned demolition as a terror attack, we wouldn’t have heard much about Loose Change to begin with.

8. Truck nuts
Truck nuts are one of those things that you’d see at a store somewhere and think to yourself, “Man, these things are stupid. Only a total dunce would put something like this on their car.” But then you see some people actually mount them on their cars, and you find yourself wishing that you had a rifle in your car so you can shoot them right off while you’re on the highway.

So, what are truck nuts? It’s a pair of plastic testicles that one can hang from their vehicle, right under the license plate. Putting them on your car sends a message, and that message is that you’d buy anything.

One thing I found weird about them is that I didn’t see anyone attempt to hang them on the front of their car, only on the back. Maybe it’s because they are being used to express a desire to [REDACTED].

So, there you have it. A list of fads that I’m glad are over. And sure, a few more annoying ones have popped up since. But at least we know that fads do come to an end, even the annoying ones.

An image to describe 2016

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Last year, I spent just a few minutes crafting an image to describe the year. After thinking about it, I’ve decided that the year 2016 is described pretty well by this one:

donald trump deal with it.png

For the cheap seats that think I’m a fan of the guy: not especially. It’s nice to see that after years of SJW insanity, America decided to put its foot down. I could have put in a blurb about blaming the Russians, but I got a little lazy. Besides, this says it just nicely.